Overheard at Ivy

Visiting student: These girls are too dece. I can’t get with any of them! They’re just not grimy enough!

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Overheard in Frist

Guy 1: I’m taking my girlfriend camping in Colorado.
Guy 2: One sleeping bag?
Guy 1: Oh yeah.

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Overheard on the steps of Robertson

Shrieking sophomore girl: I need to think about this, and I need to think about this HARD… *thinks* … I don’t think I should go for him.
Uninterested friend: I mean, doesn’t he have a girlfriend?

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Overheard at BodyHype Pickups

BodyHype Newbie: (takes off shirt)
BodyHype Bro: I’ve seen that body on Grindr before.

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Overheard Architecture Library

St. A's Junior, reading Nietzsche: *dabs*

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Overheard in CHM 202

Professor: This theory is fundamentally wrong, but it works beautifully.
Student: That’s how I feel about Kanye West.

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Overheard in Small World

Man: They would always make fun of me for being a hipster. But I'm not. I just used to be.

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Overheard in Cap

Girl: Would you hook up with a girl whoʼs pro-life?
Guy: Yeah, Iʼd hate fuck the shit out of her.
Guy 2: And make her keep it!

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Overheard on New Year’s Eve

Drunk junior girl: I know enough Spanish to tell my maid that she put my clothes in the wrong drawer.

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Overheard in Nass Office while laying out Nass 100

Publisher 1: Looks like Joyce needs to get a little bit thinner!

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Overheard in Bloomberg

WPRB Junior: He’s a dick.
WPRB Senior: Yeah, but he’s a warm dick.

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Overheard on Prospect Avenue

Theta 1 (on phone): Tell him to make a roadie and meet us.
Theta 2 (to herself): A roadie to go..

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Overheard in Seattle

Wealthy black '18 alumna: I'm definitely a fauxgressive... I want to live in a white neighborhood and bring down their property values.

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Overheard outside a middle school in Philadelphia

Pimply boy: I think I’d eat anyone’s poop if they were hot enough.

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Overheard at Terrace

Man at urinal to other man at urinal: Do you have Netflix?

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Overheard via iMessage

Journalist 1: It’s spelled GRAY.
Journalist 2: I will only ever use GREY bc I know it primarily as a horse color & Pony Club spells it that way.

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Overheard outside Spelman

Male student 1, admiring window: That is the sickest room.
Male student 2: That is rad. I bet they just play cards and drink a sick amount of wine.

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Overheard in Terrace

Dilettante : I lost my fountain pen. I’m crying.

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Overheard in the South

California Jew, to white male: You gotta go get some cracker pussy!
Southern belle: [looks shocked]
California Jew, to belle: What, did that offend you?
Southern belle (horrified): We're at a country club!

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Overheard in Dodge-Osborne

Aesthete, on middle school dances: If you’re already rubbing your genitals against someone’s ass, you might as well do it with fervor.

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Overheard in Frist

Verte Mag editor: I think we need someone who’s also pretty.

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Overheard in Pyne

Bro, to tune of "Game of Thrones" theme: Weiners, weiners weiners, weiners weiners, weiners weiners, weiners weiners.

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Overheard in the CJL

Student, to visitors, gesturing grandly at driveway: I know the area intimately.

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Overheard in East Pyne

Future State Department official: Also, I care about rights, or whatever.

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Overheard in Edwards

Indignant sophomore, over croissants: If you can’t tell a door is a door because there’s a poster on it, you deserve to die in a fire.

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