Overheard in Seminar

Professor: What we need in this classroom is cocaine. Then we can do 4 projects at once. Surely its been done before in the history of this great University.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Beefy frat guy: Man, you pissing yourself in that chair and that guy in your lap puking, that was the highlight of my day.

Overheard in Interpretations of Dreams

Freud: Indeed, even the museum of human excrement could be given an interpretation to rejoice my heart.

Overheard in Frist

Gay freshman: I don’t necessarily want to join Ivy, but I see it as a challenge.

Overheard in East Pyne

Straight Male GS: Giving head is the gateway drug to me

Overheard at Sunday Funday

Frosh girl: This is awesome. I feel so elitist.

Overheard outside Viv

Junior pi phi, wistfully: I wanna eat today...

Overheard on iMessage

Conflicted Jewish male writer: I don’t want to peddle in some bullshit shtetl nostalgia.
(Later): I need to rename this character, I can’t use Adolf.

Overheard on the Prince web site

Commenter: hi just had a quick query what can happen if a woman is pregnant with four babies and are given ovulation tablets?

Overheard on Facebook chat

Junior Pi Phi: Verbatim this week sucked.
Senior Pi Phi: That’s because we weren’t in it.

Overheard: overheard in Rocky

Girl: Where are you staying tonight?
Parent: The Courtyard Marriott.
Girl: The COURTYARD Marriott? That’s so ghetto.

Overheard in West College

Girl: Isn’t it gross though when you do throw up a little in your mouth?

Overheard in Cuyler

UPC Jew: My school had one day of sex but it was on Rosh Hashana so I missed it.

Overheard in Cap

Girl: Would you hook up with a girl whoʼs pro-life?
Guy: Yeah, Iʼd hate fuck the shit out of her.
Guy 2: And make her keep it!

Overheard in a dorm

Insecure freshman: I wish I was a masochist so I could actually enjoy Princeton.

Overheard in Henry House

Professor Frank Bruni: People are just [chuckles to himself] …thirsty.

Overheard on the way to the street in front of Brown Hall

Guy: Somebody’s daughter is getting fucked tonight.

Overheard at Ivy urinals

Ivy member, singing: ‘cause when you’re 15...you know it?
Sophomore: No man, I don’t.
Ivy member: You gotta know it. Taylor Swift, man.

Overheard while hooking up in the midwest

Artsy sad boy: I didn't realize how sexy your turtleneck was.

Overheard at Cafe Viv

Theta senior: Great, I spilled soup all over my $200 dress. I guess it's fine, I have to change before sailing practice anyway.

Overheard on iMessage

22-year-old adult male, contemplating sweater purchase: I’m scared my mom will make fun of it.

Overheard in Cuyler

Press Club Co-President: I don't think I ever really learned how to write an essay.

Overheard in precept

Blonde WASP: it's not like he said something like, “Mein Kampf” and then took it back, he was like, strict with his ideologies.

Overheard in Frist

Classics major: For my Greek essay we have to take an insignificant passage from Medea and talk about its significance.

Overheard on iMessage

Theta Senior: I bet Cottage would hose the Dalai Lama.