Overheard on realtalkprinceton.tumblr.com

Anonymous current student to anxious male prefrosh virgin: So it seems like, based off of my very sketchy calculations, you have around a 6% chance of getting laid, but given that most girls have a type and there is no saying if you fit that type, I’d bring that percentage down even lower to around 3%.

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Overheard at men’s volleyball game

Basketball player: I don’t care what happens the rest of the game as long as that line girl takes the next one in the face.

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Overheard during the shooting scare

Asshole: I’m going to be so fucking pissed if Murray-Dodge is closed because of this.

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Overheard at TI breakfast

KA senior: I’m not hungry I’m drunk.

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Overheard in Iowa

Fuckboy, to feminist: I feel like at this point your definition of “fuckboy” is so broad that it applies to any male person.

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Overheard in Terrace

Terrace senior: When I wear sunglasses, I look like someone who beats homeless people for a living.

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Overheard in 48 University Place

Colonial senior: I wanted to write an article about cunnilingus.
Learned freshman girl: Is that a circus act?

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Overheard at Theta event

Patagonia-clad Ivy senior: Are any of your pledges freaky and 21?

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Overheard in Edwards

Woman 1: Fun fact: my grandfather was a Princetonian from the midwest.
Woman 2: Did he win a Rhodes scholarship?
Woman 1: No, he was Jewish.

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Overheard at Ivy

Senior SAE: I think Alan Blinder has Tourette's.
Junior Theta: Oh, really? Is he bickering? Because that would be hard to deal with.

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Overheard in Terrace

Sophomore: I went to school in Exeter--at Exeter--I went to Exeter.

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Overheard in Bloomberg

Jewish male, listening to Waka Flocka Flame: This song makes me want to throw up gang signs even though I know it would be wrong.

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Overheard at Nass Meeting

Nass Editor, questioning premise of ‘Canadian Thanksgving’: Ok, but Thanksgiving is, like, the celebration of Columbus’ discovery of America, right?

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Overheard during a Classics Workshop

Helpful reviewer: “I learned Latin in school.” *finger guns*

Classics JP author: “That's so funny because this is Greek.”

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Overheard in Ivy

Frat pledge: This is the first time I haven't worn a street to the shirt and I feel fat.

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Overheard in Little

Jew, with glasses: I feel lots of emotions. They're very healthy.
PDP ginger: Do you feel them all at the same time? That's schizophrenia.

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Overheard on Whitman lawn

Press Club senior, deciding what music to play: Is it time for some pre-Shabbat hadag nachash?
Former Nass EIC: No, I don’t want to be publicly Jewish right now.

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Overheard on a ListServ

Shere Khan member, on record release party: We’ve been practicing singing, and no one is getting PMC’d this time.

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Overhead setting up Bananagrams

Junior COS major: This might be too much for me.

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Overheard at Terrace

Terran 1: The Honor Committee is really just an elaborate form of surveillance.
Terran 2: I should join the Honor Committee. We need someone on the inside.

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Overheard in the middle of the night

Guy shouting: “Dude! Why are you peeing on a tree!”

Guy peeing on a tree: “Not me! Not me!”

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Overheard on Cannon Green

Wise junior: I need someone who would break up with me if I even considered going into consulting.

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Overheard at Late Meal:

Argyle sweater: So you’re into quaaludes?

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Overheard whilst making out

Guy: Look, you gave me mono. My spleen is enlarged. (Pokes at something)
Girl: That's my nipple, not your spleen.

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Overheard in Mathey

Princeton Student:
Billy Joel tried to get into my yacht club, but he got turned down the first time.

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