Freshman Tigression: Her birthday is tomorrow?! No way. She can't be a pisces. That makes no sense. We have to do her chart.
SWUG heading to a thesis meeting: I am going to commit sudoku.
Other SWUG: Sudoku?
SWUG, late to thesis meeting: Seppuku.
Sophomore Guy 1: I've got to go to the EQuad to work on my EPICs project.
Sophomore Guy 2: Ah what do you read for that, The Odyssey?
Girl discussing a suspected cheater: I just don’t understand how he can lie that well! He’s either a professional or he’s crazy. [beat] And I mean, his favorite movie is Beautiful Mind…
Manic freshman girl: I just have nothing to concentrate on, so I just concentrate on dumb stuff. Like marrying Rob. You know? Just dumb stuff.
Boy, walking away: It was nice meeting you!
*No response; boy stops, comes back.*
Boy: Oh, it wasn't nice meeting me?
Girl, with forced smile: It was nice meeting you!
Sophomore who doesn't give a damn: I don't know anything about his personality but I know so much about his dick.
Liberal Activist 1: I feel like pegging has the potential to take down the patriarchy.
Liberal Activist 2: Who is Peggy?
Gay humanist junior: Wow, the professor literally just mansplained us the syllabus for 80 minutes.
Group of girls, leaving the street: She was wearing stilettos. I mean, you do you… but she was doing you all wrong.
Jewish girl: You'll be happy to know my bat mitzvah was at a bowling alley – an upscale bowling alley.
Ivy soph: I just don’t get social climbing vibes from him... maybe the fact that he’s using me to climb is clouding my judgment.
Lapsed Episcopalian Upper East Sider, eating her acai bowl: I spent last Easter at Sunday Funday.
Student in fur coat, using heavy-duty stapler, whispering to self: I feel like a grown-ass woman.
