Overheard on iMessage

Is anyone else getting TikToks about the CIA documents about alternate timelines and energy holograms or is it just me?

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Overheard on a walkway

Delirious sophomore girl: Fuck bitches get money. I love George Washington

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Overheard on iMessage

Boyfriend: Why am I so turned on by this stormtrooper?

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Overheard in Murray Dodge

Confused Freshman: I'm notorious in my own head for forgetting names.

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Overheard in 1937 Hall

First Year Girl, to her friend: I shouldn't have gone halfway through the semester before I realized I could get the guys to do my work.

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Overheard on iMessage

Disgruntled Soph: Literally who let me pick a major when I was constantly stoned because engineering is not where it's at.

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Overheard in Forbes

Math major: Dude the internet might go down. If the virus gets into the servers…

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Overheard on the Street

White Cottage male with an AEI backpack: You can't get coronavirus if you get hit by a car.

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Overheard in the south

Girl, pining for European boyfriend: I would not like to marry a circumcised man

Mother, letting out cry of surprise: Oh!

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Overheard during Corona freakout

Authoritative 2D senior: There are actually many Brooklyn based Witches.

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Overheard in Seminar

Tenured Comp Lit Professor: If you could draw this sentence as a topographical map, what would it show?

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Overheard on iMessage

Bright-eyed PSIA Major: I'm really interested in institutions.

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Overheard in my home

Sophomore trickster: I played an April Fool's prank and no one noticed it!

Me: What did you do?

Sophomore trickster: I died the toilet water yellow.

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Overheard in Zoom Lab

Princeton engineering prof: A lot of autoimmune disorders are because our bodies are bored.

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Overheard in Whitman

Nass Editor: I hate journalists.

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Overheard on campus

Girl with boba in workout clothes: Her gay ex-husband is kinda cute.

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Overheard at Roma

Freshman with bangs on Super Tuesday: Loading up the New York Times. I’m such a liberal cuck.

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Heard Crossing Washington Road

Party Animal: I'm going to get so drunk tonight...it's Super Tuesday!

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Overheard by Wawa

Senior: You know what would make a great Nass Article? "I tripped for 24 hours in Firestone: Here’s What I Found."

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Overheard by a burger restaurant in D.C.

International Senior: Why are they cooking dogs? It really makes me unsettled. I thought that dogs are only killed for cooking in some places in Asia nowadays. I hate this.

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Overheard at Whitman Dining Hall

Nass Freshman: Isn’t Jia Tolentino a pornstar?

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Overheard at Terrace

Non-denominational Junior: Ash Wednesday was last Friday right?

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Overheard in Seminar

Tony Award winning Director/Professor: You don't know for sure that I'm not a mass murderer.

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Overheard in Foulke

Alcoholic?: It’s been 4 years and I still don’t know my limits.

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Overheard in Blair Plaza

Drunk Guy pointing at parked PSAFE car: Man look at that random car. So random. Oh wait that's PSAFe. Maaaaaannnnnn.

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