Overheard at Wu

Quirked-down aging sophomore German major: These new antidepressants are making me shockingly less horny.

You already voted!

Overheard at late meal

Sophomore looking over all the work she has to do for a pset: Forget Flo Milli shit, I’m about to LOSE my shit.

You already voted!

Overheard at Terrace

Aging Junior, reading listserv email on 4/20: Please wear socks if you want to try on the crocs.

You already voted!

Overheard in U-Store

Senior holding thesis: "This is honestly a waste of money."

You already voted!

Overheard on Washington Road

Professor looking at Skateboarders longingly: I wish I could do that.

You already voted!

Overheard while doing laundry

Caked Up White Boy: These are my tight-ass corduroys. My whoreduroys.

You already voted!

Overheard in German seminar

Professor describing Kafka protagonist: He walks into town, and he's literally just a giant penis. Well not literally. But that's the general idea.

You already voted!

Overheard on Witherspoon Street

Thesising senior, about to take Adderall for the first time: I wonder if this will kill my libido.

Caring friend: It would take a kilo of crack cocaine to kill your libido.

You already voted!

Overheard in Editor-in-Chief Emeritus’ car

Sophomore mumbling “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)”: I’ve been thinking a lot about my ex-girlfriend recently.

You already voted!

Overheard in 1939 hall

Enthusiastic COS Major: As a STEM student, Paper Towns is one of the only books I've ever read.

You already voted!

Overheard in First College suite

Anxious COS Student: Can I use this cat litter as a weighted blanket?

You already voted!

Overheard in lecture

AAS Professor: I know it's hot, but W.E.B. Du Bois didn't have air conditioning and he managed to produce all that great work.

You already voted!

Overheard in Terrace

Stressed junior: “Should I take neuroscience?”

Wise senior: “Why would you?”

Stressed junior: “If I decide to be a neurosurgeon, I want the door to be open.”

Wise senior: “Life is about closing doors.”

You already voted!

Overheard in Terrace

Music aficionado: “Did you know that Chick Corea made an album with L. Ron Hubbard?”

Friend, googling: “Of course it’s called Space Jazz.”

You already voted!

Overheard at dinner

Contemplative diner: “It was literally a walk-in drive-through. A walk-through, you could say.”

You already voted!

Overheard over text

Sad junior: “My lamp just burned out. Is that representative of me?”

Friend: “Yeah, sorry, I’ve always known you were a light bulb.”

You already voted!

Overheard while getting ready

Enlightened girl: “They say ‘dress for the job you want, not the job you have’ and the job I want is somebody's weed-smoking girlfriend.”

You already voted!

Overheard in Firestone

Pre-med senior: “I want to find a partner who can titrate my acidity to a perfect light pink.”

Friend: “Yes! To the endpoint, and no further!”

You already voted!

Overheard in the middle of the night

Guy shouting: “Dude! Why are you peeing on a tree!”

Guy peeing on a tree: “Not me! Not me!”

You already voted!

Overheard at flexitarian feast

Carnivore: That was so filling, like I didn't think vegetarian food could be so filling.

You already voted!

Overheard in architecture library

Distressed white boy: "She can date whatever moron she wants. Just keep that shit out of Wucox Dining Hall."

You already voted!

Overheard during breakfast

Diner 1: “I haven't pushed anyone down the stairs in a while.”

Diner 2: “Got to get back into it.”

You already voted!

Overheard in Bridges lab

Girl on the verge of tears: As long as the bridge you die on is pretty, it’s fine, right?

You already voted!

Overheard at study break

Junior thinking about JP: Life keeps happening. And I'm kinda not thrilled.

You already voted!

Overheard in Lockhart

Burned Out Friend: *Goes on a depressing rant*

Over-committed Verbatim fan: That's so sad, and I can't even verbatim it.

You already voted!