Overheard in J Street

Amused frosh: There are a surprising amount of kleptos on this campus.

Overheard at J Street

Innovative frosh: Do you think if I take a nap on top of my politics readings, I'll absorb the information through osmosis?

Overheard in McDonnell

Soph girl: Like have you seen the bees in the Bee Movie? They're hot.

Overheard in Frist

Worried student to strangers: Have you seen a taller, older white man in pajama pants?

Overhead at TI

TI Senior: I’m a lesbian, don’t try to tell me otherwise.

Overheard in Forbes

Wise sophomore: You can’t treat men like human beings or they’ll think you want to sleep with them.

Overheard outside Firestone

Sophomore, evaluating validity of freshman's opinion: I’m not racist or homophobic, but I am ageist.

Overheard at TI Stairs

TI Junior 1: It’s like we’re on the Met steps.
TI Junior 2: Where’s my fat-free yogurt?

Overheard in Frist

Oblivious freshman: You can't take abuse? Why not?

Overheard in Whitman

Pre-med frosh who hates science: What would my alter-ego be?
Friend: A doctor.

Overheard on Google

Nass editor: "list of conspiracy theories"

Overheard in Whitman dining hall

Confused freshman: So you know how I had my one on one for Writing Sem today. I walk in, and she says 'So your draft is one page. And it's blank.'

Overheard in Whitman

Lax Bro 1: What's a SHARE peer?
Lax Bro 2: No, Chad's not here.

Overheard somewhere

HUM freshman: I can't, I have to go read the Bible.

Overheard in Frist

Overly conscious freshman: That's not a guy name. Wait, names don't have gender. I messed up!

Overheard in Firestone

Famous black astrologist: I need to be somewhere in the cosmos, don't I? Why not Princeton library?

Overheard in Scully

Open-minded independent: I didn't know avocado was so problematic…

Overheard in Forbes

Girl in love, weirdly enough: He was so sickly. He was so cute!!

Overheard walking out of senior pub night

Random senior: What was that song about West Virginia?

Overheard at Wilcox

Nihilistic frosh: You know how we were talking about having kids? I just realized that we're the last generation.

Overheard at Wilcox

Two juniors: Jesus is a big guy to leave room for.

Overheard outside Dillion

Frustrated middle-aged man: You can have my vote, I don't care WHO you are—if you can end daylight savings time. I’m like, DONE!!

Overheard on a plane

HUM professor to student: So, tell me the tea.

Overheard at Newark Airport

Prince Writer: Don't take it personally — I came out of the womb a bitch.

Overheard in Scully

Princeton alum, talking about how the world probably ended in 2012: Yeah, so everything post Harambe has been total nonsense.