Hellenic Tower junior: As a Greek, you bet I was wet with excitement the moment I walked in the door and saw all of the Grecian decorations set up for Towercules.
Female Ivy member to bickeree: Now tell this Cottage member three things you hate about her club. Bickeree: But– but I don’t know three Cottage members!
Former Ivy bickeree: “Other than us, who do you think has the richest interior life?”
Tired bickerer: The amount of times I heard the word “vibes” at Cap bicker is way too high
Cannon junior: I don’t think I bickered him. I just bickered a lot of guys named Phil.
Manspreading, overconfident Ivy bickeree: It’s not really manspreading unless your pants rip.
Yung aspiring journalist: I want to third floor bicker the New Yorker.
Senior TI woman, to sophomore boy: Are you gonna third-floor bicker? I’m just kidding, we’re never having sex.
Tower members to full cohort of new selectees, in raised voices: IF ANYONE ASKS YOU ABOUT BICKER, WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU SAY “NO FUCKING COMMENT.”
Impatient girl in an eating club: Who is still printing? Do you guys not realize bicker is coming up?
Vengeful fratter: Yeah, she downed one of our guys in the fall; spring bicker is gonna be the Thetapocalypse.
Bro, gravely: I’m probably not gonna get into Ivy when I bicker. Other bro: What, yes you are! Bro: Yeah I’m just fucking.
Senior SAE: I think Alan Blinder has Tourette’s. Junior Theta: Oh, really? Is he bickering? Because that would be hard to deal with.
Freshman boy: Yeah, I know, if Terrace were Bicker, I’d totally bicker there. […Silence…] Same Freshman boy: Guess I’ll have to stick with Ivy.
Student: So, this is going to be a pretty busy weekend for you guys, huh? Public Safety Officer: Yep, you know it. But I got the weekend off. I’m just going to sit at home and bicker myself.