Overheard on Bicker Committee Statement

Hellenic Tower junior: As a Greek, you bet I was wet with excitement the moment I walked in the door and saw all of the Grecian decorations set up for Towercules.

Overheard during Ivy Bicker

Female Ivy member to bickeree: Now tell this Cottage member three things you hate about her club.
Bickeree: But-- but I don't know three Cottage members!

Overheard at Cottage Bicker

Yeah, I carry a knife around to fight the blacks.

Overheard by the fire

Ivy senior: Bicker filters out virgins.


Overheard on Nassau

Cannon junior: I don’t think I bickered him. I just bickered a lot of guys named Phil.

Overheard in Frist

Manspreading, overconfident Ivy bickeree: It's not really manspreading unless your pants rip.

Overheard at Soonja’s

Ivy ‘16 Grad: I’m not telling you to bicker McKinsey, but think about it.

Overheard after a Nass meeting

Yung aspiring journalist: I want to third floor bicker the New Yorker.

Overheard in the CJL

Freshman goy: I’m not trying to third-floor bicker Judaism.

Overheard on the Ivy porch

Senior TI woman, to sophomore boy: Are you gonna third-floor bicker? I’m just kidding, we’re never having sex.

Overheard on campus

Tower members to full cohort of new selectees, in raised voices: IF ANYONE ASKS YOU ABOUT BICKER, WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU SAY “NO FUCKING COMMENT.”

Overheard at Ivy

Smoking aristocrat: Sometimes I with I had bickered Terrace.

Overheard at Frist printer:

Impatient girl in an eating club: Who is still printing? Do you guys not realize bicker is coming up?

Overheard in fratter’s room:

Vengeful fratter: Yeah, she downed one of our guys in the fall; spring bicker is gonna be the Thetapocalypse.

Overheard in Rocky

TI-bickering girl: I just keep smelling cat food, everywhere.

Overheard in Frist:

Bro, gravely: I’m probably not gonna get into Ivy when I bicker.
Other bro: What, yes you are!
Bro: Yeah I’m just fucking.

Overheard at Ivy

Senior SAE: I think Alan Blinder has Tourette's.
Junior Theta: Oh, really? Is he bickering? Because that would be hard to deal with.

Overheard in Firestone C-Floor:

Freshman boy: Yeah, I know, if Terrace were Bicker, I'd totally bicker there.
Same Freshman boy: Guess I'll have to stick with Ivy.

Overheard in Public Safety vehicle

Student: So, this is going to be a pretty busy weekend for you guys, huh?
Public Safety Officer: Yep, you know it. But I got the weekend off. I'm just going to sit at home and bicker myself.

Overheard at Terrace

Sophomore Girl: I am not a slut!  The only people I hook up with are bicker club officers.