Woody Woo major, to friend in the throes of romance: How can we optimize your love?
Journalism intern: You're a different person now.
Investment banking intern: I'm the same person. Just with more Excel shortcuts.
A good old friend: “Okay, we’re going to have eat fast—I have a meeting at 6.”
American frosh: It’s amazing you speak English so well.
New Zealander: I mean, we speak English in New Zealand. American frosh: But if you speak English, then why do you have an accent?
Prof. Pai: Well, if a country isn't a member of the WTO, and they've created their own root, then I suppose it's ok to bomb them.
Ivy junior, on Ivy aenior: He’s
totally American analytical, but you have to understand the
structuralist inheritance.
Professor Smith: Why else would you be walking alone on the railroad track with a pounding heart if you weren’t torn up about love?
Turkish Girl (discussing poverty): It's hard to imagein being a person trying to "bring the ends together."
Girl 1: My mom left me a message asking me about my spring break plans, and she said to call her back, and then told me what the home phone number was.
Girl 2: Hahaha, that is so depressing.
Frat bro: Do you have to be debilitatingly poor to make cookies in Murray Dodge?
Girl #1: Sometimes I fast for theological reasons.
Guy: Yeah, sometimes I fast because I'm too lazy to leave the house.
Girl #2: [Points to crotch] Sometimes I realize that I have a hole in the crotch of my pants and I can't stop touching it.
TI Bro, to alum: If you need another recommendation for the squash club, let me know and I'll tell my dad to put you up.
Jewish Day School alum: All my friends are either at the AIPAC Conference or the Hillel Basketball tournament right now.
Sophomore Ivy Pi Phi: I've never faced rejection – I definitely can't start now.
Guard 1: Did you watch the Rutgers game?
Guard 2: Of course!
Guard 1: Really?
Guard 2: No.
Professor: Every question becomes a meta-question. Today you live in meta-land... my great-grandparents lived in Yiddish land.
(Later in the seminar)
Professor: We were all glad when the Nass stopped putting professor quotations in Verbatim.
Princeton Economics Professor Harvey Rosen: Capitalism without losses is like Christianity without Hell.
President George W. Bush: Harvey, stick to economics.
Male dancer, dismissively: So I’d keep a dinosaur for like three years, then I’d let it die once it gets domesticated.