Overheard in Lewis Library

Woody Woo major, to friend in the throes of romance: How can we optimize your love?

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Overheard at Terrace

Brooklynite: If I knew how to drive, I'd know how to drive stick shift.

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Overheard on Nassau Street

Journalism intern: You're a different person now.
Investment banking intern: I'm the same person. Just with more Excel shortcuts.

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Overheard walking into NCW (5:50pm)

A good old friend: “Okay, we’re going to have eat fast—I have a meeting at 6.”

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Overheard on the Street

American frosh: It’s amazing you speak English so well.
New Zealander: I mean, we speak English in New Zealand. American frosh: But if you speak English, then why do you have an accent?

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Oveheard in COS 318

Prof. Pai: Well, if a country isn't a member of the WTO, and they've created their own root, then I suppose it's ok to bomb them.

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Overheard in Frist

Ivy junior, on Ivy aenior: He’s
totally American analytical, but you have to understand the
structuralist inheritance.

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Overheard in poetry workship

Professor Smith: Why else would you be walking alone on the railroad track with a pounding heart if you weren’t torn up about love?

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Overheard on MLK Day

Cottage junior: What’s Selma?

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Overheard at a national publication

Journalist, contemplatively: Gmail emojis...are doing me dirty.

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Overheard in Robertson

Turkish Girl (discussing poverty): It's hard to imagein being a person trying to "bring the ends together."

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Overheard on AIM

Girl 1: My mom left me a message asking me about my spring break plans, and she said to call her back, and then told me what the home phone number was.
Girl 2: Hahaha, that is so depressing.

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Overheard in Robertson

Frat bro: Do you have to be debilitatingly poor to make cookies in Murray Dodge?

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Overheard in the Terrace computer room

Girl #1: Sometimes I fast for theological reasons.
Guy: Yeah, sometimes I fast because I'm too lazy to leave the house.
Girl #2: [Points to crotch] Sometimes I realize that I have a hole in the crotch of my pants and I can't stop touching it.

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Overheard in NYC

TI Bro, to alum: If you need another recommendation for the squash club, let me know and I'll tell my dad to put you up.

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Overheard on campus

Jewish Day School alum: All my friends are either at the AIPAC Conference or the Hillel Basketball tournament right now.

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Overheard in BT office

Sophomore Ivy Pi Phi: I've never faced rejection – I definitely can't start now.

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Overheard during a gay hangout

Feminist: “And the best part is they literally objectify men!”

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Overheard while exiting Firestone

Guard 1: Did you watch the Rutgers game?
Guard 2: Of course!
Guard 1: Really?
Guard 2: No.

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Overheard in a history seminar

Professor: Every question becomes a meta-question. Today you live in meta-land... my great-grandparents lived in Yiddish land.
(Later in the seminar)
Professor: We were all glad when the Nass stopped putting professor quotations in Verbatim.

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Overheard in Mathey

German freshman: I vud like to know more about Monica Levinsky.

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Overheard in the Oval Office

Princeton Economics Professor Harvey Rosen: Capitalism without losses is like Christianity without Hell.

President George W. Bush: Harvey, stick to economics.

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Overheard in the Psych building

Male dancer, dismissively: So I’d keep a dinosaur for like three years, then I’d let it die once it gets domesticated.

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Overheard in fortune cookie from Ivy Garden

Keep your plans secret, for now

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Overheard in inbox

Distribution list processor: Unknown command - “FUCKKKKKKKKKK”. Try HELP.

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