Horny future politician: ”I could never sleep with a conservative.”
South Carolinian: “I was living underneath the Confederate statues.”
Bro 1: “They have Sabrina Carpenter in Fortnite.”
Bro 2: “Oh, shit. I’d buy her.”
The same SLA professor: “You need human suffering in order to experience genuine happiness. I mean, are we really going to just sit around all day and eat twinkies and call that happiness?”
Former child with an au pair: “It's because she wanted a child but she wasn’t pregnant so she got a horse.”
Girl with a nice smile: “I want to have the mouth that one has when they don’t have teeth but have dentures.”
Grad student: “You know how after you eat Dominos you wake up in the middle of the night with meat sweats?”
A confused me: “No? Keep that to yourself.”
Public servant: “I like your multi-drug stuff… it feels like home, with Mexicans abusing things all around me.”
A prude: “I can be promiscuous too but at some point there is a line that is crossed that I didn’t even know existed!”
SLA professor: “Though I want to be entirely clear: just because you have back problems does not mean you are demonic.”
Goof: "There's no content warning needed for these photos. I mean, they are representations of war, so."
Boy from Connecticut: “The worst thing that could happen to me if I was reincarnated would be to be reincarnated as a poor person.”
Self-proclaimed “girl’s girl”: Ugly people have to exist for there to be pretty people.
Cooking: Ooh, I like the hum of the pepper! Do you think some coconut milk might help contextualize it?
Cooked: This is really beyond me, I must say.
Some guy: I took her to a ramen place because she’s Wasian
Disappointed advice-seeker, flipping through the Torah: Oh. It's not about love, it's just about Lebanon.
Tired History major: I made up trans in Wuhan, that’s where they invented it.
Born in the wrong generation: When dick didn’t mean dick and gay didn’t mean gay the world was a better place.
A fledgling scholar: Bro, I just learned the Ming dynasty was real thing .