87-year-old Grandma: What’s that?
2D member: Tofu!
Grandma: Toe food?
Trans Man: So you know how there is Beyond Meat. I like to think of myself as Beyond Boy.
Humanities Student: Can I say something that liberals would hate? I get so much flak for talking about polygamy. Centuries ago, it would have helped women gain rights through marriage.
Post-theatrical Barista: If anyone's doing a production of Jesus Christ Superstar I'd join, but otherwise those days are over.
Greedy Student: I want to make a lot of money, but I don't want to work very hard.
Guy playing pool, in British accent: fockin' 'ell, mate!
His Polish opponent: ahhh KURWA!!!
Professional archivist: It was very binary. There was someone who identified as a man, someone who identified as a woman, and then Eisgruber.
Terrace Comp Lit major: Ah yes. Man, woman, Eisgruber. The three sexes.
Law enforcement aspirant: I’m bad at lying and I’m even worse at telling the truth
Student: Who else fujoshi-ing out over Bill Clinton and Donald Trump.
Girl on phone: Yeah the family is trying to keep it quiet! Who knows what would happen if it got out? … Yes, the triplets! … Yes, they are 12 siblings in total
Self-proclaimed Existentialist: Not to Jaden Smith right now, but can we talk about the political and economic state of the world?
Couple walking together near the Fleet Feet Store
Girl: Look Fleet feet!
Guy, seductively: mmmmmm, feeeeeet!
Girl: Do you wanna go in?
Guy: no…
Bisexual guy: All the guys are so boring, even the maoist. I need to go back to women.
Student who has been in the library all day: I feel like I need to do something for myself for a change.
Another student: What are you thinking?
Same tired student: Sleep.
Someone who doesn’t play around: Has anyone told you that you are manipulative?
Girl in boy troubles: Well. Actually, yes.
Friend discussing another friend’s disposition: I feel like you are a very chalant person.
Friend being discussed: Really? I take myself as someone who isn’t non-chalant at all.
Interjector: Guys! You are talking about the same thing!
Not-an-opera-person: Sandra Oh is in an opera?
Opera-person: It’s a speaking role.
Recent victim of 'playful' Bike Ramming: Northern Europeans play too rough, Like- he thought we were both having fun there.
Engineer: I'm running an experiment in the apartment for a lab so don't be concerned if you see wires in the bathroom lol.
Upperclassman: You don't actually have to know anything to get a job.
Princeton student 1: we're such fucking nerds
Princeton student 2: Dude, it's Princeton
A fellow Artichoke: So we sent out a form collecting opinions about us hanging up a pride flag outside on the porch. We did receive one nay saying that it was not representative of the group.
Everyone: *a collective side eye*