170-pound man: "It's a little confusing, because cumming on someone is not really complimentary."
Socialist poet: I hate to say it, but mass democracy was a great mistake for America.
Professor: Here is a little tip about 19th century literature. When you see … … What does that mean? It means they had sex!
Google Calendar Warrior: I don’t have time for lunch today but you can walk with me from New South to East Pyne between 10:50 and 11:00 if you want to talk.
Overworked therapist: I’m sorry your kid died but I need a break.
An angsty 15-year old boy: Every day I shake my fist at the world a little more.
Complit Major: Having French 101 at 12:30 everyday has ruined my social life.
A straight girl trying to make a GBF: He gives like Troye Sivan factory defect.
Someone who is so real for that: Last semester I hit this ground running. This semester I just hit the ground.
First person: Why did you cut up all your food before eating it?
Second person: Mild autism.
Surprised by His Son's Tendency to Have Eggs for Breakfast: Oh, so Paul's an egg maven now?
SPIA student: I think my preceptor is a pervert based on absolutely no evidence or reason.
Freshman: Should I start meditating or get a klonopin prescription?
Child at heart: I have to apply for something to prolong this youthfulness.
Realist: You mean a fellowship?