Overheard during Room Draw

Secular folklorist: We should get one of those rooms with a shared bathroom. 

Biblical muddlehead: Oh, you mean an Adam and Eve?

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Overheard in East Pyne

Slavic professor probing his students: I am being kind of a jerk here, but that's the point.

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Overheard through the Gram

Chill-ass chiller, chillingly: Last night was such a fever dream. Everything happened yet nothing did.

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Overheard on a Tuesday

Perceptive professor: So many things often feel accidental… like being gay or whatever. Or the Metamorphosis.

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Overheard while waiting (for elevator)

Elevator eunuch: I’m not very patient, but I’m also not a walker…especially upstairs.

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Overheard in eating club

Brave white woman: Can you stop talking, because I haven't liked anything you've said for the past hour.

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Overheard in NCW

Just a girl brewing tea: Guys, life is about making beverages.

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Overheard in a classroom

Sedatephobic professor: If you’re not talking I’m going to keep talking. I fear a vacuum.

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Overheard in group chat

Dreamer: In my dream, my mom sliced my head open with a hammer/knife and then we were running around everywhere, and my head was just bleeding, and I was happy. I didn’t like it.

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Overheard in Coffee Club

Beautiful, innocent, sweet, and doe-eyed brunette: Could I please have a steamed lemonade, stud?
Big-boned stallion man: Coming right up, sugartits.

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Overheard one night

Avid Nass reader: Be honest guys, do you ever make up verbatims?
Nass member: No, noooo….why would we ever do that?
Avid Nass reader, nodding pensively: Sometimes they’re just too funny to be true.

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Overheard in Terrace

Gay man: Gay twins scare the shit out of me.

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Overheard on a bus traversing Sicily

Former HUM student: I want to embrace the Russian tradition of suffering.

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Overheard in East Asian Library

Promiscuous Freshman Bottom: Because when it's uncut the tip has a little tang to it.

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Overheard near New South

Athlete, talking to a group of childless parents: That writing class…most important moment of your life, probably.

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Overheard in Tower

Fed-up frosh: If all the men here are assholes, they might as well be 6-foot assholes.

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Overheard on the street

Well-meaning white girl: “I’ve never felt more, like, not around white people. Not bad, just different.”

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Overheard in Roma

Frosh: “Where do you report a bully in college?”

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Overheard whilst stretching

Pretentious yoga enthusiast: I feel like if you have issues they're not of the mermaid variety.

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Overheard outside Ivy

WASP-y Ivy Member: The WASPs are up to something…

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Overheard in Tiger Tea Room

Cloister Bro: Do you ever try to figure out if a guy is sexist before you date him?
Cloister Bro's Female Friend: If they're still talking to me after seeing "feminist" in my Twitter bio that's a good sign.

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Overheard in Whitman Courtyard

Disgruntled south campus resident: Every walk in Princeton is 3 minutes too long.

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Overheard in Murray Dodge

Student, talking to a potential English major: “Try the starving artist thing for a while, and if it doesn’t work out, you can always be a consultant!”

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Overheard in Daily Princetonian newsroom

Staffer of Brotherly Love: “I know nothing about football except ‘Go birds.’”

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Overheard in Charter basement

Text from mom: “Flirt away, my handsome son.”

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