Overheard in East Asian Library

Promiscuous Freshman Bottom: Because when it's uncut the tip has a little tang to it.

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Overheard near New South

Athlete, talking to a group of childless parents: That writing class…most important moment of your life, probably.

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Overheard in Tower

Fed-up frosh: If all the men here are assholes, they might as well be 6-foot assholes.

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Overheard on the street

Well-meaning white girl: “I’ve never felt more, like, not around white people. Not bad, just different.”

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Overheard in Roma

Frosh: “Where do you report a bully in college?”

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Overheard whilst stretching

Pretentious yoga enthusiast: I feel like if you have issues they're not of the mermaid variety.

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Overheard outside Ivy

WASP-y Ivy Member: The WASPs are up to something…

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Overheard in Tiger Tea Room

Cloister Bro: Do you ever try to figure out if a guy is sexist before you date him?
Cloister Bro's Female Friend: If they're still talking to me after seeing "feminist" in my Twitter bio that's a good sign.

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Overheard in Whitman Courtyard

Disgruntled south campus resident: Every walk in Princeton is 3 minutes too long.

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Overheard in Murray Dodge

Student, talking to a potential English major: “Try the starving artist thing for a while, and if it doesn’t work out, you can always be a consultant!”

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Overheard in Daily Princetonian newsroom

Staffer of Brotherly Love: “I know nothing about football except ‘Go birds.’”

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Overheard in Charter basement

Text from mom: “Flirt away, my handsome son.”

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Overheard in Front of Fitzrandolph gates

Anxious frosh guy: “DC? I’ve been to every museum on the National Mall…”

Eager blonde: “Well, I’ve—“

Anxious frosh guy: “Twice.”

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Overheard in Terrace

Sustainable fashion advocate: With micro bangs you’d be the intersection of baby girl, cutie patootie, and little munchkin

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Overheard during a chance encounter on Elm

Surprised friend: Woah! I thought you were holding Bananagrams, but it's actually just a banana.

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Overheard at painful Terrace brunch

Stoner German major: "There’s kinda beef between the Benjamin and Adorno fandoms."

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Overheard in Holder

Frosh taking care of drunk friend: I've been around a lot of people who have been McCoshed or PMCed and he is not at that point yet

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Overheard in Firestone

Scholarly Grammarian: I can’t take another erotic poetry course, I already took one on Sappho!

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Overheard in East Pyne

Italian Person: Wait, the Communists weren’t Christian??

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Overheard in Jadwin

Harvard alum: “I didn't think anything of Mark Zuckerberg, he was just in my CS24 class.”

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Overheard in Fine Hall

BSE frosh: "I would rather do 100 math problems than read two pages."

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Overheard in Coffee Club

Irish poetry scholar: “The thing about me is I know for a FACT that Fintan O’Toole is a bisexual.”

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Overheard on a walk

Gamer guy, walking on gravel: This sounds just like breaking a Minecraft dirt block.

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Overheard while reading the Nassau Weekly Smut Competition entries

Smut reader: Don’t ruin this pear for me

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Overheard after the final Nass submission deadline

Nass newcomer: I should probably submit a verbottom

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