Overheard while opening Hinge

Yearning addict: It's a reflex.

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Overheard during Confession:

Females these days: I want to dress pretty and yap. I want something warm inside me. I love men.

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Overheard at office hours

Ambitious, hardened woman: I don't want to be up at midnight helping some stupid kids, I wanna be in bed at midnight in my mansion.

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Overheard while having your cake and eating it too

Disillusioned by American desserts: There's no taste. It's just something white in my mouth.

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Overheard while scoping in Frist

Discerning mentor: You should be thankful if you get someone that is 5'6 on Princeton Campus. 

Needs help: I can’t tell how tall he actually is because he wears Doc Martens.

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Overheard on the Sixth Floor

Thirsty Nass-supporter: I would be honored to have a verbatim-writing credit.

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Overheard in Guyot Hall

Has their priorities straight: I want to take a gap year to focus on my aquaponic farm.

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Overheard at Dillon

Normal guy: I feel like I'm witnessing some kind of masculine pagan ritual right now.

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Overheard while reading thesis edits

Professor in the streets, verbal veteran in the Sheets: I have used the word "cowed" but I would never recommend it.

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Overheard in Zumba

Cottage cheese & tinned fish fangirl: I’m trying to eat more elderly people foods.

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Overhead in Ellipse Neighborhood

Scooter-less freshman male: I swear, dude, with all this rain and all these NPCs walking around, I'm going to hit someone on my bike and kill them.

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Overheard in Choi Dining Hall

Enlightened empath, currently taking HUM219 Jesus and Buddha: You should always feel bad for stupid people.

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Overheard one Wednesday night

Discerning roommate, counseling on matters of love: He’s weird in an acceptable way. 

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Overheard in Scully

Friend-turned-lover: Kissing is like a poor man’s hanging out.

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Overheard in Firestone

Student, hating on professor : He’s only tall if you measure in how much of a bitch he is…

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Overheard en route to Jadwin

Confused basketball fan: Is bounce-off at 8?

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Overheard on NJ Transit

Student storyteller: I was taking Advil PM and DayQuil and having them fight it out because that’s the only way I could get high at the time.

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Overheard in East Pyne

Slavic professor, probing his students yet again: So I am the prof and I come in here and say you people are so immature. Okay, so, how do you get out of that? Because by trying to show me you are mature, you are going to prove to me that you are immature. Double whammy. I sort of imprisoned you in my set of concepts. It’s sort of like quicksand, the more you try to wiggle out of it the more you get stuck in it.

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Overhead in our depraved, morally-bankrupt world

Depraved, morally-bankrupt girl: Was Jesus a virgin?

Pervert: Mary was.

Depraved, morally-bankrupt girl: Yeah, virginity runs in the family I guess.

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Overheard walking to Forbes

Large athletic man: Astrology is just space racism!

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Overheard in Lewis Library

Clearly a NARP: Sometimes I wish I were an athlete. It must be great to just run around a field occasionally and pretend you’re at war or something.

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Overheard in the common room

Roommate: I have squeezed the ball, now I will touch the tortilla.

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Overheard in Yeh

Star-crossed artist: Born to paint in a small cottage in France. Forced to do COS126.

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Overheard in bar in Berlin

Proud Irish lesbian: Are you also Irish?

Shameful American lesbian: No, I'm American…

Proud Irish lesbian: Oh, that's okay, we accept you still.

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Overheard while discussing DDA

OA veteran: Mandatory affinity group is segregation. That is literally the definition. 

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