Overheard at lunch

General enthusiast, nodding: Big vibe for a big dawg.

You already voted!

Overheard in the architecture building

Aging dean, to students: I know all the beers in the world.

You already voted!

Overheard in Viv

Blonde sophomore girl: You’ve heard of her? I didn’t realize other people listened to her.
Senior boy: It’s probably just the two of us.
(shared chuckle)
Blonde sophomore girl: Are you in Terrace too?

You already voted!

Overheard on NJTransit

Bro: I’m so excited for brunch. Finna get some tofu scramble, doe.

You already voted!

Overheard in 1903

Senior female: I just don’t identify with the word “pussy.”

You already voted!

Overheard in Pyne

White female: I just really can’t handle adversity in any way.

You already voted!

Overheard in CWR 204

Young artist, on potato: “The warm, starchy substance entered my mouth.”

You already voted!

Overheard in Choi Dining Hall

Bickered Ivy, joined Cap: It’s surprisingly rewarding when you fall into the current of normalcy.

You already voted!

Overheard in Fine Hall

Math Professor: “It’s like you’re gonna have to go super Saiyan to visualize this…like level 17000 Saiyan…deep neural networks Saiyan…I’m just Saiyan.”

You already voted!

Overheard outside Clapp Hall

Guy: I like that bracelet.
Girl: Thanks, it's an old family heirloom.
Guy: You say everything you have is a family heirloom.
Girl: Yeah, especially my "I'm a carrier for Tay-sachs syndrome.

You already voted!

Overheard in Prospect Garden

Guy: I never accept friend requests from Asians.

Girl: Why?

Guy: Well, you know, if you give a mouse a cookie...

You already voted!

Overheard: in Spellman while watching Chicken Run

Girl 1: It’s about chickens trying to escape and Mel Gibson tries to convert them.
Girl 2: So...it’s like real life.

You already voted!

Overheard on the Porch

Junior about his Labradoodle: I feel so bad for my dog because she has to live in this Republican house when deep in my heart I know she's a communist.

You already voted!

Overheard near Frist

Women’s track team member: I didn’t know you could hold in a fart until, like, last year.

You already voted!

Overheard in ECO 302

Professor: At this point, you might not think I’ve said very much. But I did.

You already voted!

Overheard in Terrace

Callous Terrace senior: I'm more interested in New York than autism.

You already voted!

Overheard in Lourie Love

Girl #1: I think I should start going to Manna.
Girl #2: But you're JEWISH.
Girl #1: I know, but I think it'd be a good place to meet guys.

You already voted!

Overheard in 1903

Terrace senior, discussing party theme: You should come dressed as “capitalism.”
WASPy junior: I always come dressed as capitalism.

You already voted!

Overheard on Ivy Listserv

Defensive man: You may be busy trying to lose your virginity, but I'm busy trying to read my Greek-English lexicon.

You already voted!

Overheard in an email

USG: Drop by the 2015 tailgate from 6-7PM @ the Frick Chemistry Lab.

You already voted!

Overheard at Charter

Friend 1: We should play squash sometime.
Friend 2: I haven’t played a sport in five years. I haven’t played a
sport that wasn’t ultimate frisbee in eight years.

You already voted!

Overheard at Cap

Chill and diverse girl: I need to change my profile picture, Obama's been in it for too long.

You already voted!

Overheard in Wilf

Nass soph: Everyone in my life keeps giving me subtle signs to stop being an asshole.

You already voted!

Overheard at Terrace pickups

Senior Girl: My pants are soaked with beer, I don't want to wear them home.
Sophomore Boy: Wear my pants!
Girl: No, that's Ok
Boy: I insist! (takes off pants)
Girl: Your pants are more soaked with beer than mine are. How does this help me?
Boy: Well, if you wear my pants home, I'll have to come get them from you tomorrow

You already voted!

Overheard at aforementioned Scrabble rager

Hot senior, again: What did that mean? Was that like a PewDiePie quote or something?

You already voted!