Male prefrosh: You should really get Facebook.
Female prefrosh: I should...what’s your last name? I’ll contact you.
Male prefosh: [Gives last name] You should really get Facebook.
Female prefrosh: I should.
Girl Economics Major: Are you going to work for an investment bank this summer?
Guy Economics Major: I don't think so. Investment banking is okay, but my real passion is consulting.
Corporate executive, philosophically: Do you think they’ve discovered all the foods?
Ivy junior, on Ivy aenior: He’s
totally American analytical, but you have to understand the
structuralist inheritance.
Pike Pledge: Dude, my penis is so small that the only chance I have for pleasuring a girl is to tell a good joke during sex.
Girl, whispering at full volume: Now [redacted] wants me to flush his coke for him. What am I, his mother?
Girl 1: At least you didn’t fall for a hobbit who left you for a cross-eyed girl.
Girl 2: Yeah, but I fell for a hobbit who left me for a man.
[pause]
I guess he didn’t really leave me.
Deposed EIC: Here’s an example of how worthless the boy scouts are not only does my brother actually have a cow badge (literally, a badge you get for learning about cows) but I just challenged him to a cow trivia contest, and it was a tie.
Perceptive senior, reading party invitation: Is it logically possible for a party to be both “the largest” and “most exclusive”?
Wisconsin junior: I like that shirt. Where’d you get it?
Ohio senior: JCPenney close-out rack.
Westchester junior: What’s a close-out rack?
Sangria-drinking junior: Wow, it is very much still Halloween on Club Penguin.
Terrace Show chair: I just booked a band called Panty Raid.
Sophomore: What do they play?
Show chair: I don’t know.
Student filled with wonderment at tale of limb breaking: I wish I had a broken bone.
Supreme Court justice, on being famous in public: I have to be careful at the beach now.
Princeton student: I’ve decided that it’s just not worth the pain. I’m throwing out my old, safe plan for life and trusting my future to the wind and my heart. MLWBDifficult, but MLWBMOwn.
Disenchanted reviewer: Princeton is full of snobs! Besides the architecture of the school, the town has only 2 blocks worth seeing. The hospital is nothing like the TV show House, and no he does not work there! 4 blocks off the college is where the illegal immigrants gather and wait for day work. I was extremely disappointed in Princeton. I imagined a European type university village centered on a school with great prestige! Yeah, NO! not even close.
Math professor: Here's an example of an economic problem involving two goods...let's say, guns and beer. Economists are always talking about guns and beer.
Student: That's guns and butter.
Professor: Who cares about butter?