Overheard on Prospect Ave

Inquisitor: Are orgies legal?

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Overheard in Quarantined House

Gemini: I love taking things too far, it's my favorite hobby.

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Overheard in Prospect Garden

Girl 1: You're alright, though?
Girl 2: I am lively and fresh, even in the autumn of my girlhood.

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Overheard in Canada

Prince editor: What is student journalism if not gossip?

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Overheard in Frist

Kappa sophomore: I’m not pretty enough to live in Beverly Hills. I would have to have so much plastic surgery.

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Overheard in Fader Magazine

Kicker: By selling a sex toy with his new album, the electronic producer makes a powerful statement about how we consume.

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Overheard at TI Breakfast

Ailing senior woman: I got a UTI from sitting my bare vagina in beer all day.

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Overheard in Ivy

Senior girl: There’s more sex happening in nursing homes than on this campus.

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Overheard in Creative Writing Workshop

Poetry Professor: You can’t hurt my feelings. Only fascists can hurt my feelings.

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Overheard in Patton

AEPi senior, confused: Is 50 Shades of Grey starring Drake?

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Overheard in class

Tired professor: "Suppose, God forbid, I had to grade all the midterms in this class."

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Overheard in East Pyne

ML Catholic, upon hearing about Uber Helicopter: What?! What is this?? Money is the root of all evil.

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Overheard on Snapchat

Junior Theta: My personal goal for this semester is to get in with the alt crew

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Overheard outside Frist

Freshman boy: I’m so good at bullshitting, sometimes I don’t do the reading for writing sem and I just say something anyway for the participation.

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Overheard at Coffee Club before midterms

Excited APES senior: Wait, there’s ‘big bootie’ for studying?

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Overheard at a Nass Meeting

Blonde editor: I would accept a small deformity in exchange for safety from meningitis... Like, I would take brown hair maybe.

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Overheard in hot yoga

Suburban mom: My son said he wanted to get married. I said, "why the f would you do that?!" So he changed his mind and bought flying squirrels instead.

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Overheard on Facebook

Nass editor’s first-ever kiss: just got back from jail.

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Overheard in ECO 302

Professor: At this point, you might not think I’ve said very much. But I did.

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Overheard in JRN 441

Senior girl: Who here eats foie gras on a regular basis?

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Overheard while reviewing a psychiatry appointment

Skeptical philosopher: “They always ask me if I see or hear things other people don’t, but how would I know if other people don’t?”

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Overheard in Frist

Ivy sophomore: Having friends on two different continents puts media strategy on a whole other level.

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Overheard in TI

Water polo male: She’s a closer. She is like the Mariano Rivera of blow jobs.

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Overheard in a childhood bedroom

Girl, scrolling through boy's spotify: God, he's [ex-boyfriend] but self-aware, and spiritual. I hate it here.

 

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Overheard in Zoom Dms

Nass Junior Editor: Hi slut

Nass Business Team Member: Stop calling me slut after watching glee

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