Overheard at Terrace

Oh my God, he is so gay.

Overheard in Whitman

AEPi sophomore, eagerly: I need to show you guys the cool new things I learned to do with my throat in Arabic class.

Overheard near Fine Hall:

Amateur political theorist: It’s a triumph of the will every time I cross Washington Road.

Overheard crossing Nassau St.

Housewife: —because I’m the only person who tries to tell the truth like it is—

Husband (interrupting): Yes, but half the time you tell it wrong.

Overheard in Wright

YDS frosh: The people v. OJ Simpson was my political awakening.

Overheard in Wu

Pi Phi sophomore: Do you speak Slavic?
Junior male: No.
Pi Phi sophomore: Is Slavic even a language?
Junior male, laughing at her: Yes!
Pi Phi sophomore: Really? It doesn’t sound
like one.

Prof. Tyson in AST 203

Pluto is moonwhipped.

Overheard on Twitter

CWR prof Colson Whitehead: I live two blocks from where I’m reading tonight. I can finish talking and totally be spankin’ it five minutes later. #metrics

Overheard at postgame:

Astonished Ivy member: The TI women's bathroom is a freaking help desk. No, more than that. I walk into a bunch of girls who are too drunk, and there's a whole chain of command in place to help them.


Overheard in Wu

Tower sophomore, on Terrace: It was a really weird scene. Everyone was smoking pot.

Overheard in the Siberian wilderness

Fulbright Fellow: Last time I drank too much I went skinny dipping with a group of seventy-year-old men and vomited freshly slain sheep heart in my mouth.

Overheard on Twitter

Princeton History professor: I am generically attractive and play by the rules. How can this be happening to me?

Overheard in Cafe Viv:

Asian girl 1, sheepishly: So yeah, I’m in Woody Woo.
Asian girl 2: Oh, okay.
Asian girl 1, defensively: Yeah, everyone is in the department is really intense. [Pauses] I only applied because my roommate applied and she wanted emotional support.

Overheard in JRN 441

Senior girl: Who here eats foie gras on a regular basis?

Overheard in Bloomberg

Drunk guy: I think you're one of the most beautiful girls on campus. (thoughtful pause) Does that offend you?

Overheard at the CJL

Freshman girl, to Ivy sophomore: Why did you join Ivy?
Ivy sophomore, incredulously, to Ivy senior: She just asked me why I joined Ivy.

Overheard in Frist

Shere Khan male: When I have my 21st birthday party, the whole street is going to be closed.

Overheard in Creative Writing

Joyce Carol Oates: What *is* a summer?

Overheard in NES 201

Preceptor: Imperialism isn’t for everyone.

Overheard in Joline

Football player at pregame, lifting shirt: Who here has a six pack, no homo.

Overheard in JRN 447

Former Fed Vice President: I don’t know the names of rappers be- sides...what’s his name? Beyoncé’s husband. And I heard there’s a guy named Kanye West or something.

Overheard at Ivy

Member: I mean, it’s not hard to become a senator.

Overheard in MOL 101 review session

Exasperated TA to fellow exasperated TA: Don’t say anything else, you’re gonna fucking confuse them!

Overheard on AIM

Guy #1: Tomorrow is a brand new day.
Guy #2: Who said that originally?
Guy #2: I believe it was a container of bleach.

Overheard in Marie Claire

Shailene Woodley: My only real insecurities in high school were having such long legs and thick hair.