Overheard in Frist

Gay humanist junior: Wow, the professor literally just mansplained us the syllabus for 80 minutes.

12 1

Overheard in Woolworth

Dumb frosh: Yuck Farvard, am I right?

0 0

Overheard in Corwin men’s room

Guy with newly acquired girlfriend: I feel more productive, you know. More relaxed, getting more work done.
Guy's friend: So getting down to business is good for business?
Guy: Stocks are UP when her pants are DOWN.

0 2

Overheard at 5 a.m.

Delirious sophomore, after an all-nighter: To remind me of home, my mom sent me a plastic bloody limb.

3 0

Overheard on the Upper West Side

David Remnick, wearing Nass sweatshirt, recounting story of interviewing a young man: "And then he asked me if I'd heard of the Nassau Weekly. I said, heard of it? I invented it!"

6 0

Overheard outside dorm after false fire alarm at 6am

Frosh girl to her roommate: I feel like we've really bonded over shared trauma now

4 0

Overheard in Ivy

True artist: Only true artists can have highbrow sex.

2 0

Overheard in 1903

Senior female: I just don’t identify with the word “pussy.”

3 0

Overheard at Nass meeting

Nass freshman: I like myself because... I mean what is selfhood? I don’t know.

0 0

Overheard in the U-Store

Self-assured sophomore: Okay, Ronald Reagan. Smash or pass?

4 1

Overheard in a Prince interview

Machine Gun Kelly: Like they were like “You’re booked in Iowa,” and I’m like “Fucking Iowa, what?” But then it was sold out, and they had like, CO2 shooting from the ceiling during the performance, even the fat girls were hot there, it was nuts. Yeah, that was my shit.

3 0

Overheard in Whitman

Sleep-deprived frosh to other sleep-deprived frosh: Let's all put our serotonin in a pile and split it.

1 0

Overheard at physics problem session

Disgruntled sophomore: “Leadership qualities” don’t exist. They were invented to keep Jews out of the Ivy League.

0 0

Overheard in Frist

Lapsed Episcopalian Upper East Sider, eating her acai bowl: I spent last Easter at Sunday Funday.

2 0

Overheard in Holder

I think when I die I want to be buried with my hands on my nuts.

0 0

Overheard at the Cloisters

Tour guide: So, about monastic life—
Joking-not-joking grad student: Think ‘graduate student.’

0 0

Overheard in Pyne

21-year-old woman watching Game of Thrones, with gravity: I would never wanna go to the wall.

0 0

Overheard at Ivy:

Ivy senior: In no context is the taco salad socially acceptable.

1 0

Overheard in East Pyne

Male Press Club Member 1: Dude, are those tights?
Male Press Club Member 2, indignant: It’s a thermal base layer!

0 0

Overheard at Ivy

Terrace senior: I am a serial misgenderer.

4 5

Overheard during the shooting scare

Asshole: I’m going to be so fucking pissed if Murray-Dodge is closed because of this.

0 0

Overheard in Little Hall

Girl: I've heard it's kind of weird
after you jerk off...you pee kinda
Boy: Oh yeah, that's because
there's extra residue of jizz in there
that's get sticky and clogged up
a bit, unless you've gotten completely
sucked off. Then the pipes
are clean.
[Uncomfortable pause]
Boy: Oh, I love my pipes clean!

0 0

Overheard in Rocky

Social justice warrior: Unfortunately, there’s no critical theory plug-in for Microsoft Word.

0 0

Overheard in Viv

Sophomore rower: The thing is, I told him I’d marry him for housing.

0 0

Overheard in Firestone

Girl: So, yeah apparently there's a castle in Scotland named after my family. I think it's even a pretty decent sized one.
Guy: Oh, cool. I wish I had a family castle.
Girl: Yeah, we have a plaid too, but it's heinous... but wouldn't it be awesome if it were the Burberry one? I mean, how cute is that!

0 0