Overheard in Frist

SAE soph, to girl: I have bigger eyes than you. And longer eyelashes. Really, I’m just cuter.

Overheard on Wikipedia

“At sign”: The at sign or @, [is] also called the ampersat, apetail, arroba, atmark, acosta, at symbol, commercial at, curlat, or monkey choad

Overheard in Liberty International Airport

Baggage checker: Has anyone put anything in your luggage without your knowledge?
Girl: If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?
Baggage checker: That's why we ask.

Overheard at Terrace lawnparties

Guy 1: Dude, I have to get up early tomorrow to go to Russian class at 9am.
Guy 2: Dude, I have to get up at noon and smoke a joint before brunch!
Guy 3: Tomorrow's Monday.
Guy 2: Well, fine. I have to get up at noon and smoke a joint before lunch, then.

Overheard by Frist

Junior Pi Phi: I am so fed up with everyone on this campus who calls themselves a communist and isn't.

Overheard via iMessage

Sexually empowered senior woman: why do we love canadians so much? is it because we think they’re simple?
(later)
Ibid: i want to go on a fuck tour of the northwest

Overheard in Cottage

Guy 1: I just wanted to tell you, our friendship is like peeing my pants: everyone can see it, but only I can feel the warmth.
Guy 2: I don't think we've met.

Overheard in 1901-Laughlin Hall

TI junior: My hair is so ratchet right now.
Junior Pi Phi: I think it looks fine, and I’m in Ivy.

Overheard in ANT 215

Professor: I’m sure many of you have actually seen someone choking to death. Well, maybe not, I hope not.

Overheard at Ivy

Senior, on first kisses: I think I kissed my Dominican babysitter when I was 7... She was like, 15 though, so it was cool. Her name was Domatila.

Overheard at Triumph

Guy 1: Yeah, so I hooked up with this really hot girl last night.
Guy 2: What'd you do?
Guy 1: We made out on the dance floor at one of the eating clubs.
Guy 1: Dude, that doesn't count. That's like hookup inflation.
(Editor's note: Actually, it does count. It's called a dance floor kiss, or "DFK" for short. As in, Guy 1 totally DFK'd a hot girl last night. A variation is the tap room kiss ("TRK").)

Overheard in Chancellor Green Cafe

Scraggly junior: Structuralism is so hot right now.

Overheard in Varsity Club lecture

Overzealous Athletic Director: Just because you come to Princeton doesn’t mean you have to give up the pursuit of excellence.

Overheard in CHM 201

Professor: You should be able to see a little bit of purple haze…
Freshman, to no-one in particular: Purple Haze, isn’t that a song by Prince? Or is it Purple Fog? Yeah, Purple Fog…

Overheard in Rocky dining hall

Annoyingly healthy sophomore: My body's a temple!
Jaded sophomore: My body's like… a nightclub.

12 

Overhead near bitchass

Pre-med bitchass: You other people don’t understand how pre-meds’ minds work. I have to be studying every second.

Overheard in the Women’s Center

Southern boy: The last time I cried was when I watched the movie Lincoln. I don't know, I just really love America.

Overheard in Terrace

Grad student, sheepishly, to Terrace Officer: Do you mind if I bum some toilet paper from Terrace? I ran out at my place.

Overheard at Terrace lunch

Lesbian, screaming: I COULD HAVE A BUSH… I DON’T WANT ONE!

Overheard in HUM/EAS 233:

Professor, on most recent paper assignment: There are some people, I think, who would benefit from a deeper understanding of writing and what it is.

Overheard in Murray Dodge:

Cookie Enthusiast: I think I would kill everyone here if it meant I would receive the freshest cookies.

Overheard outside

Freshman girl, to gaggle of freshman girls: I’ll run for USG. In high school, I was like, president of all my shit.

Overheard in the Daily Princetonian

Be god human beings and just go for it, advices Brian Taylor ‘84 to Princetonian students.

Overheard in Terrace

Girl: He said, “You’re so pretty, wanna make out?” And I said cool and we made out and then I left.

Overheard in locker room

Football Player: (Overhears "Sweet Child of Mine") This song is awesome. I'm so good at this in Guitar Hero.