Overheard in creative writing registration line

Freshman 1: My prom date’s dad is like, pretty famous.
Freshman 2: Wow. Imagine having a famous dad. Is your dad famous?
Freshman 1: He’s kinda famous. Yeah. He’s famous.
Freshman 2, awed: Wow.

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Overheard in Spelman

Girl: You accidentally sent a love poem to your sister?
Boy, defensively: There wasn’t that much sex in it.

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Overheard in Spelman

International Student: I can't wait to get an American passport so I can apply to be on Survivor.

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Overheard in Forbes

Southern belle: I realized his silver pattern would have looked horrible with mine—that’s how I got closure.

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Overheard on Witherspoon

Sensitive, pallid male, excitedly: He sent us a link to all of Ulysses as an audiobook! Now I can listen to it at the gym.

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Overheard at Frist

Guy on iPhone: Yeah, they took my ID. Oh well. At least I have a new reason to hate America.

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Overheard in HIS 448

Professor: Who doesn’t love an orgy?

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Overheard at Terrace

Girl talking about ecstasy: I would be careful about that stuff...
Guy, shrugging: So I die...

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Overheard during Princetoween

Freshman playing never-have-I-ever: Never have I ever called someone bestie during sex.

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Overheard in seminar

Pyne Prize winner: Bunghole means butt...[snickers].
Professor: I KNOW THAT. I’m telling you what it ACTUALLY means.

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Overheard at a poetry reading

Matthew Dickman: How many people here like to do drugs? Anyone? No one?
Chang-Rae Lee: *raises hand*

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Overheard in the Cottage bathroom

Girl 1: Girl 2, let's go to Cottage!
Girl 2: We are in Cottage.

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Overheard in McDonnell

NES major: yo, fuck the middle east tho…

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Overheard in Ivy bathroom:

Girl 1: I haven’t been in this stall since pickups last year when I was making out with a sophomore boy.
Girl 2: That happens to us all.

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Overheard at Starbucks

First-year girl: Is it weird that I am aroused by my own handwriting?

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Overheard in Dod

Theta junior: We need to take a moment to talk about Timothée Chalamet – he's so hot!
Theta soph: Wait, let me tigerbook him.

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Overheard in 185 Nassau:

VIS professor: Think: professionally lit rave.

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Overheard in East Pyne

Deep-voiced man to woman, matter-of-fact-ly: Did you know the Tory has an advice column called 'Ask Anselm?'

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Overheard in Frist

Freshman: Frist does look like a pretty cool place to chill...watch sports...

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Overheard in New York City

Stylish young woman, wearing a hat, to man: Get away! You’re looking at me like I’m a piece of meat, but I am a QUEEN.

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Overheard Outside Wilcox

Girl kicking large package across icy path at midnight: I'm fine.

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Overheard at Nass Layout

Editor-in-Chief: Until I put two and two together and realized how many emails from Jay Williamson I had in my inbox, I'd forgotten who our USG President was.
Publisher: Don't you mean Alex Lenahan?

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Overheard in Insta DMs

Misguided Optimist on the Phili Flyer's Mascot: How dare you compare Gritty to Satanism. Gritty is all that is good in the world!

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Overheard in the Streets of Philly

Dude 1: This is the smoothest vape around.
Dude 2: That's like the worst sentence I've ever heard.

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Overheard on Tiger Transit

Vengeful Junior: I have decided to spend my tax return on Ubers from now on.

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