Overheard in Frist

Freshman: Frist does look like a pretty cool place to chill...watch sports...

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Overheard in Whitman D-hall

Very large football player: This is a good apple. I usually don’t like apples unless my mom cuts ‘em up for me.

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Overheard at an a capella audition

Girl: Do you know "Amazing Grace"?
Guy: Is that a Celine Dion song?

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Overheard at Starbucks

Girl #1: OMG, you should pull the anxiety card.
Girl #2: Well, of COURSE I already did.

2 1

Professor Wolff, ENG345

We’re not talking about oysters here. We’re talking about syphilis.

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Overheard in Laos

Fulbright Fellow: Last time I drank too much I vomited all over the Killing Fields in Phnom Penh.

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Overheard in Holder

Germany-obsessed medievalist: I want to get high as a kite and watch Teletubbies.
Critical-theory post-modernist Turk: I feel like that show warrants something harder.

11 2

Overheard in Spelman

St. A’s sophomore: I just wanted to ironically be in a frat.

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Overheard in Forbes

Charter sophomore: What is Rack City?

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Overheard in hot yoga

Suburban mom: My son said he wanted to get married. I said, "why the f would you do that?!" So he changed his mind and bought flying squirrels instead.

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Overheard in Terrace

Terrace senior: When I wear sunglasses, I look like someone who beats homeless people for a living.

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Overheard in GER 210

Professor: We're going to be engaging Heidegger from the rear. (pause) It's the best way to engage him.

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Overheard in Pyne

Dangerously high male, to art major/significant other: You are so aesthetic but you have no utility.

7 5

Overheard in Brooklyn

CJL alum: and that's why you can't trust a jew in cottage.

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Overheard at thesis boot camp

Communist: I can’t work under such biopolitical conditions.

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Joyce Carol Oates, CWR 203

You don’t have to have a bad opium trip to write well.

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Overheard on the Street

Drunk girl: I worked from 10-5.
Drunk dude spitting incoherent game: Better than 10-8.

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Overhead in ECO 362 precept

Over-enthusiastic sophomore: I'm only doing ORFE for the prestige.

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Overheard on the Upper West Side

Prep school trash boy: 9GAG is like the gateway to the deep web.

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Overheard in Frist

Woke PTL philosophy major: The patriarchy is IN Frist.

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Overheard at TI

Senior KA 1: If I have a daughter she’s definitely going to have daddy issues.
Senior KA 2: If you have a daughter she will be my third or fourth wife.

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Overheard at Ivy

Ivy junior: How could someone who has a job at Morgan Stanley be such a fucking idiot?!

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Overheard on the Street

Aspiring sex addict: "It would be hard to be an ugly sex addict. Do you think I'm attractive enough to be a sex addict?

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Overheard outside Fine Hall

Senior physics major to sophomore girl: Physics is to math like sex is to masturbation. Do you wanna date?

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Overheard in ECO 302

Professor: At this point, you might not think I’ve said very much. But I did.

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