Overheard on Nassau Street

Freshman boy on attractive yet motherly senior girl: I want her to call me Oedipus

Overheard at Cloister

Male Junior 1: Yeah, I passed out once at TI and didn't wake up until after lunch the next day.
Male Junior 2: Wow, I'm suprised no one jerked off on your face.

Overheard in Whitman

Socially conscious bro: No...come on. If I do consulting it'll be non-profit consulting.

Overheard at the Nurse’s Desk at McCosh

Nurse: Let's try this again- why do you want me to "slather" your chest with Vick's Vap-O-Rub?
Freshman: Because I lost my allergy medicine and I'm congested.
Nurse: You're lying.
Freshman: Can't you at least pats me tummy?

Overheard in GroupMe

Progressive Jewish Senior: If anyone wants to procrastinate, here's a cool interview with Noam Chomsky about being a Jewish progressive: [link]

Overheard in the Prince

Columnist: Often underclassmen will go together to the PUID clubs.

Overheard in Washington DC

Some guy: There were lots of woke people at the Women's March, including the guy who got kicked out of my co-op at Berkeley for being a misogynist.

Overheard in PHI 360

Sophomore: Socrates is my homeboy,

Overheard in Pyne

21-year-old woman watching Game of Thrones, with gravity: I would never wanna go to the wall.

Overheard in Patton

Former Press Club President, wearing a "Chance 3" hat: Do you have your Marx on you?

Overheard by Palmer Square

Local youth 1: She’s so hot. You’re friends with her, right?
Local youth 2: Kind of.
Local youth 1: Is she weird?
Local youth 2: No.
Local youth 1: Well, is she a slut?
Local youth 2: No.
Local youth 1: Dang.

Overheard at Nass party

Overeager frosh: i like to do lay-outs i love layout can you lay me out

Overheard in Manhattan

'03 Alum: I want to take E so I can remember what it's like to stay in shape.

Overheard by Wawa

White girl: T-Pain? Was he in Men in Black?

Overheard in creative writing registration line

Freshman 1: My prom date’s dad is like, pretty famous.
Freshman 2: Wow. Imagine having a famous dad. Is your dad famous?
Freshman 1: He’s kinda famous. Yeah. He’s famous.
Freshman 2, awed: Wow.

Overheard in ECO lecture

Professor: Why do people buy gold? It’s not because you want to enamel your dining room with gold.
Pi Phi Junior: You don’t know my friends.

Overheard in Butler Basement:

Boy: I don’t like to snowboard and act like I’m black. I like to ski and be white.

Overheard drunk on the street

Adamant frosh girl: I’m not your cow!
Senior boy: You’re more than just your milk...

Overheard in Little 101

Jewish Editor-in-Chief: One of the debates I had with myself on Shabbat was whether it would be okay to turn on my computer to look at pictures of Bar Refaeli, because at least she’s a Zionist.

Overheard in an English precept

Girl: The Stanford Prison Experiments were run in response to the Abu Ghraib prison scandals, which occured in the 1970s.

Overheard in Joline Hall

R20 member: I feel like once I’m in an eating club, I’ll learn what a soulmate is.

Overheard in the student center: a discussion about its anal-retentively corporate feel

Customer #1: Man, this place is getting more anal-retentive every year.
Customer #2: More anal-retentive? Pshaw, it's always been that way. Anyplace that fests as actively as this one does...

Overheard on Nassau Street

High school boy: I could really go for some pussy right now.

Overheard in Pyne

TI senior girl, indignant: What are you even going to do with your husband if you don’t like watching sports?

Overheard at Ivy dinner

Flamboyant senior boy: After a long day of reading Freud, I felt so awkward asking the Frist mailman for my package.