Overheard in New York

JP Morgan employee: There were far too many carbs there for a gay networking event.

Overheard outside Lockhart

Dude on phone: The green linen pants, the baby blue blazer, the white collared shirt and the navy blue tie...I think that's it. I definitely need it by Friday

Overheard at Valentine’s Day dinner

Religiously-raised lover nursing a gin and tonic: I once thought about God watching me masturbate and then I stopped believing in God.

Overheard in Art History:

Freshman: irregardless of pronunciation motifs of delineation and irregardless of how it activates senses it evokes provocative thoughts of malignant growths

Overheard at Rojos

Freshman man, contemplating superstition: Is it bad luck to throw salt through a hula hoop?

Overheard on the Street

Frat president: Wow, we must have such high levels of toxic masculinity.

Overheard the morning after

Hungover sophomore male: I just smelled my hand and it indicated to me that I did not stop smoking.

Overheard in Frist

Girl 1: I don’t think he would be a good father.
Girl 2: Nor would he be a good husband. And when you wanted to have babies and you couldn’t conceive because he had done so many drugs in his youth and his sperm count was so low, I think it would put a real strain on the relationship.

Overheard in Frist

Girl, agitated: No, I'm not going to clean the room because I'm a girl.

Overheard in Terrace

I just feel like the kind of people who join Terrace are the kind of people who browse Reddit, and the people who browse Reddit love cats.

Overheard in Starbucks

Woman with infant: We went to middle school together in New Brunswick. She looked like a big lesbian trucker so we called her “big lesbian trucker.”

Overheard in Wilson dining hall

Random Frosh: I feel like he's one of those people who thinks he's really talented because he's really rich.

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Overheard on New Year’s Eve

Press Club senior, holding 7 oz. beer: Take a picture of me holding this. It’ll make my hands look huge!

Overheard on Facebook on Easter Sunday

Things that come back to life on Easter: Jesus and puwireless.

Overheard in Whitman theater

Theater girl: You think his laugh is weird? Try humping him in a coffin.

Overheard at Terrace

Art history major: I’m worried my thesis is coming off as anti-Swedish.

Overheard in Terrace

Junior Art Director, flipping angrily through book: I don’t want to read about love.

Overheard in front of Brown

Band member, instructing other members of the band on how to play: Just do whatever you feel like doing.

Overheard in post-meng area

TI girl 1: Don’t make out with anyone for two weeks!
TI girl 2: Hahahahaha.
TI girl 1: Yeah, just kidding.

Overheard in Witherspoon

Sophomore rushee: I don’t have to shower, I’m just going to Kappa.

Overheard at Cap

Chill and diverse girl: I need to change my profile picture, Obama's been in it for too long.

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Pi Phi pledge: I don’t really care about Iraq.

Overheard in our Inbox

Dear Friend,
I am Mr. Wong Tung Shun Peter Jp Non
Executive Director of the Hang Seng
Bank Ltd, Hong Kong. An Iraqi named
Haider Hanoon, a business man made a
numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar
months, this is valued to Fourty Four
million Five Hundred Thousand United
State Dollars only in my branch. We
later found out that Haider Hanoon and
his family had been killed during the
war in Gunfire that hit their home at
Mukaradeeb where his personal oil well
was. I am prepared to place you as the
next of kin to share the money with you
in half But I first will need your help.

Overheard on a poster

Poster: Why do you appreciate our facilities staff?
Response: Henry—thanks for never questioning the contents of our garbage. It means a lot.

Overheard in Lewis Library

Backward Cap: Well, what other job could make you at least half a mil?
Polo Shirt: A Princeton degree does a lot for you that way.
Cap (near despair): The value is decreasing now!
Shirt: You're right. A doctor, a lawyer... I'm not sure anymore.