Overheard in Frist

President of Panhellenic Council, to Ivy Asian: [with respect to her origin] What are you?

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Overheard at Cottage

Guy 1: My thesis advisor still hasn't responded to my six-page opus.
Guy 2: You should key into his car: 'Respond to my opus, fucker.'

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Overheard on iMessage

WASP: Y'all need Allah

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Overheard in Frist

Girl, agitated: No, I'm not going to clean the room because I'm a girl.

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Overheard in Terrace

Sophomore dude: 13-year-old girls have no idea how to give handjobs.

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Overheard in writing sem

Professor: So what's great about this essay?
Savage: You know, I really like the fact that this is the first draft and it'll be revised.

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Overheard outside RoMa

Girl: Hey did you see the introduction to bondage workshop? We've been missing out!
Boy: My people were doing that thousands of years ago in EGYPT!!

7 1

Overheard postcoitally

Brooklynite: Girl, I love you so much you make me wanna include strong three dimensional female characters in my novel.

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Overheard in Foulk

Tigertone: I get more head than anybody I’ve ever seen before.

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Overheard in Holland Park

Sickly poet, upon dropping can of Orangina on the ground: Oh no, my lunch!

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Overheard in TI

SAE Senior: I don’t understand this “black zone.”

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Overheard on Prospect

Student: Wait, is Macaulay Culkin in TI??

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Overheard in Forbes

BodyHype senior: I'm gonna adopt 15 kids. They're gonna be all different races and each of them is gonna wear a different color sweater.

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Overheard in Bloomberg

Devout Catholic to Marxist-Leninist: Who’s going to make the caramel gelato when the revolution comes?

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Overheard on Prospect Ave

Inquisitor: Are orgies legal?

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Overheard on the Street

TI senior: And that’s how they made up: horse tranquilizers.

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Overheard in Colonial

Math major senior working in finance next year: There are so many sellouts here that we had a sellout panel.

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Overheard on a Wednesday

Jewish senior: Never have I ever bought Plan B in shekels.

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Overheard in Dod

Physics major, recently accepted to grad school: How many is six?

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Overheard at Terrace

Junior girl: I feel like having a trust fund could be stressful.
WASP male: Oh, it definitely is not.

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Overheard outside Frist

Girl: No, I know what you mean. All my friends in high school were prettier than me, too.

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Professor Wolff, ENG345

We’re not talking about oysters here. We’re talking about syphilis.

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Overheard at Cap

Gay Officer: What are Sodom and Gomorrah? I thought they were a pair of historical gay lovers.

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Overheard on Ivy patio

Patagonia-wearing frat bro: Is anyone here in the 'Badass Marketers and Founders' Facebook group?

4 2

Overheard near Whig-Clio

Drunk Bro: Dude, you don't understand how loud you are when you're drunk. It's like you've got caps lock on. Like, AHHH, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY COAT? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

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