Carrion Luggage
May 24, 2012
Verbatim
More →Overhead on NJTransit
Terrace Girl: Like I’m like a Pi Phi in Ivy and I like soooo want to go to Terrace and like get cocaine and be hip and edgy
Overheard in Whitman D-Hall
Orthodox Jew: I think his mannerisms in seminar can say a great deal about his sexual prowess.
Overheard in Robertson
Woody Woo boy: The problem with Lawnparties every year is that one rower that has a visible scrotum.
Overheard in Terrace
Old Exonian, on St. A’s: I went to Exeter. Did any of them even prep? They’re so uninteresting. All I want to do is fork all of their eyeballs out.
Overheard by Nassau Hall
Pensive bro: Sometimes you look at your dog and you wonder if he’s got it all figured out.
Overheard at Prospect Garden on Lawnparties
Sister 1: Let’s do the cheer squat.
Sister 2: Are we duckfacing also?
Overheard at Market Fair
Guy, upon seeing girl in Charter sweatshirt: Ewwww we’re in public, take it off!
Overheard in room
Premed girl: I want to be a woman in 1900.
Roommate: You wouldn’t have even owned your own body. Your husband would have.
Premed girl: I wouldn’t have owned an orgo textbook either.
Overheard in Butler
Pi Phi frosh: What is Pi Phi? Just a group of slightly-above-average-looking girls.
Overheard in Rocky D-Hall
Old Asian Man: You can’t abort AIDS.
Overheard in RoMa
Ivy junior: You can exclude people from ODUS groups. There’s soft exclusion and hard exclusion. Soft exclusion is Facebook cyberbullying: “If u show up I’ll be pissed and hate you.” Hard exclusion is saying “oh no you can’t be in it”
Overheard at Ivy semiformal
Freshman, at door: I’m excited. This is going to be so fancy.
Overheard outside the U-Store
White girl: oh ow I’m so sunburned
Black guy: well in a way it’s kind of like reparations
Overheard in Mathey
Freshman girl, on uncircumsized penises: I just don’t think I would know. I mean...it’s dark.
Overheard in 1879 Hall
Philosophy grad student: I don’t consider myself a nihilist anymore. I was trying to do the nihilist thing, but it’s pretty hard.