Who is She?

March 4, 2017


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Overheard in room

Senior aesthete: I saw three midgets get into Berghain before I got rejected.

Overheard at Rojo’s

Desperately lonely boy: The president of the Stanford Chess Club is smoking hot. You can play her live on Facebook right now. Should I?

Overheard in Patton

Former Press Club President, wearing a "Chance 3" hat: Do you have your Marx on you?

Overheard outside 1901

Charming guy: She seems hot, but not after you spend three days in the wilderness with her.

Overheard in seminar

Marxist professor, to giant bug on the table: Engels!

Overheard in Patton T12

Nass EIC: As a non-Jewish woman, I spun the dreidel and won.

Overheard in Small World

Prospective Georgetown applicant, to Princeton interviewer: Do you know who Cory Booker is?

Overheard in Washington DC

Some guy: There were lots of woke people at the Women's March, including the guy who got kicked out of my co-op at Berkeley for being a misogynist.

Overheard at Princeton

Man on phone: Apart from Harvard, what do you have experience doing?

Overheard in Prospect Garden

Visiting mother: Wow, this is great, I feel like I'm on a retreat. Such great weather, such beautiful trees, such cute boys. What more could you ask for?

Overheard at national publication

Berkeley artsy trash boy, putting hair in half-ponytail: Honestly, the only time I do my hair like this is when I'm at my climbing gym.

Overhead in Ivy

St. A's senior: I might go to 7-11 for a slurpee and cigarettes.

Overheard at TI

Aesthete, sipping on IPA: This tastes like my acne medication.

Overheard at Terrace

Lead singer: Like all of you, we are trapped in a capitalist hellscape.

Overheard by elevator

Boy 1: Who is that blond girl in Cottage in your profile picture? She was in my Dostoevsky seminar.
Boy 2: She's one of my best friends.
Boy 1: I feel like club sailing has some of the most diverse affiliations.

Overheard in seminar

Judaic Studies professor, commenting on ancient text: What can we tell from this character's name? (waits for response) Well, he was clearly a nice Jewish boy.