A Foal’s Errand

March 11, 2017


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Overheard via email

Independent Candidate for NJ Governor who thinks the NSA did 9/11, responding to a request for an interview: Almost 90% of the students at Princeton work for the NSA, no thanks.

Overheard on the Pi Phi Listserv

Social chair: Dear Angles of Pi Phi…

Overheard at the Architecture Library

St. A's junior: I need a quiet house. I need a quiet dog. I need a forty foot long table so my wife and I can just sit across from each other.

Overheard in Frist

Jewish Nass editor: *leans in and rests head on other Jewish Nass editor's shoulder*
You smell like a synagogue.

Overheard in Butler

Upper West Sider: I freaked out when I met Cornel West and accidentally told him I was from Harlem.

Overheard in Laos

Fulbright Fellow: Last time I drank too much I vomited all over the Killing Fields in Phnom Penh.

Overheard in Gmail inbox

Bourgeois trash mother, to son: I'm BORED with my clothes (not surprising, this happens towards the end of every season).
I did NOT get the cropped jeans that I showed you last time (the ones at Neiman's) bc I figured out that if I shortened the Topshop jeans, I'd have the right look. Yay!
Can I wear these? NO shade please on the size I know I'm fat...but am I too old for these on the weekends? They're BALMAIN (gasp). I LOVE the detailing on the knees...but can a 60 year old who maybe looks 45 wear these? [link]

Overheard in TI

Nass EIC: We want to move away from stereotyping particular student groups in Verbatim.
Theta junior: Sure but like, when people say that Thetas are shallow, I'm like... probably.

Overheard on The Bachelor

Douche-canoe: I may be white, but I am still a minority.

Overheard in Mathey dining hall

Jewish freshman, with gravity: If I get through the next three days, I am Moses.

Overheard in TI

Junior female: I don't know if she dated him, or if he was her minister.

Overheard in Frist classroom

BodyHype senior: Pregnancy is more than just a stomach.
Later: I want to balance a bowl of cereal on my stomach.
Later: Surrogacy probably pays a lot of money. Maybe that's how I'll pay for grad school.

Overheard at San Francisco house party

White girl: My friend lost her virginity to Mr. Brightside on repeat.