March 1, 2024

Kids: Full Design

And now the Nassau Weekly is back again, thinking about girls, thinking about animals, and thinking about the internet.

Picture of Sharon Lowe


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Overheard while discussing DDA

OA veteran: Mandatory affinity group is segregation. That is literally the definition. 

Overheard during Room Draw

Secular folklorist: We should get one of those rooms with a shared bathroom. 

Biblical muddlehead: Oh, you mean an Adam and Eve?

Overheard in East Pyne

Slavic professor probing his students: I am being kind of a jerk here, but that's the point.

Overheard through the Gram

Chill-ass chiller, chillingly: Last night was such a fever dream. Everything happened yet nothing did.

Overheard on a Tuesday

Perceptive professor: So many things often feel accidental… like being gay or whatever. Or the Metamorphosis.

Overheard while waiting (for elevator)

Elevator eunuch: I’m not very patient, but I’m also not a walker…especially upstairs.

Overheard in eating club

Brave white woman: Can you stop talking, because I haven't liked anything you've said for the past hour.

Overheard in NCW

Just a girl brewing tea: Guys, life is about making beverages.

Overheard in a classroom

Sedatephobic professor: If you’re not talking I’m going to keep talking. I fear a vacuum.

Overheard in group chat

Dreamer: In my dream, my mom sliced my head open with a hammer/knife and then we were running around everywhere, and my head was just bleeding, and I was happy. I didn’t like it.

Overheard in Coffee Club

Beautiful, innocent, sweet, and doe-eyed brunette: Could I please have a steamed lemonade, stud?
Big-boned stallion man: Coming right up, sugartits.

Overheard one night

Avid Nass reader: Be honest guys, do you ever make up verbatims?
Nass member: No, noooo….why would we ever do that?
Avid Nass reader, nodding pensively: Sometimes they’re just too funny to be true.