One or several elephants: this final issue’s back cover, which looks like a full-page ad for PNC bank because it is. We’d ask that you hereafter refrain from calling The Nass anything other than PNC Bank Presents the Nassau Weekly. … Read More
One sad thing about the Letter From the Editor as form is that I never receive a reply. So I’ve begun constructing the image of a child-sized, glow-in-the-dark reader in my head. Importantly, this patient reader has a mouth, and … Read More
The other week, a dealer–who up until this point had seemed demure and cryptically cosmopolitan in this very European way–messaged me, “In years past, I had everything all the time.” Me and my friends laughed for a while. Then, things … Read More
When people say spring has sprung, they actually mean it has emerged from inside itself. Spring has ejected from its own abdomen through a lovely, vulvic little déchirure in the side. The whole thing sounded exactly like you’d think it … Read More
CW: suicide It’s an unfortunate structural reality that the Nass appears in print about two weeks after we collect the content that makes up the magazine. Enough time elapses to generally inhibit committed journalistic work or timely commentary on campus … Read More
You can read Hunter S. Thompson’s suicide note if you want but only on Genius Lyrics for some reason and only while 50jitsteppa offers up a studio performance of his track “I Know” in a concurrently playing video. It’s sort … Read More
“I might survive, and what if I do? What if I swim through the waters and eat and hide from those raiders? And, god, what if I have to drink my own urine?”
To telescope, we begin with 300 words, then slice the word count in half for each successive section. We stop when the numbers stop dividing evenly. This week, four Nass writers telescope the word “cavity.” Charlie Nuermberger (cn0260) CW: … Read More
“There are a million wolves hiding in the environmental substrate I’ve called speargrass. The reality is that they’re not even wolves. When they get home in the evening, they take off the wolfskin and look just like us.”
“Hypothesis: people our age around the world are alone during a significant portion of their waking hours. And hypothetically, BeReal is the perfect observational device.”
