Check out the full design here, or grab a physical issue on campus!
Sleep-deprived senior with misplaced priorities: “I haven't started my thesis yet, but I've ranked every bathroom on campus by pee-ability.”
Student talking to another student of the class of 2024: “It looks like your hair has depopulated on your head since the last time I saw you.”
Student after a night at Terrace: “It was annoying talking to him, so I hooked up with him instead.”
Girl: “Multigasm, is that a word?”
Boy: “It is now. Ohhhhh, baby.”
Passenger: “You know, you just can’t avoid meeting architects at Princeton…and there aren’t any good ones.”
Freshman who needs to stop saying shit like this: “I feel like I'm the golden retriever of this friendship.”
Nassling: “I wish guys had urologists like girls had gynecologists. I want a more specific doctor to look at my junk.”
Anxious Professor:” This is good to know if you ever have a demonic encounter.”
Nass Head Design: “I’m kind of the English GOAT if you think about it.”
Attention Historian: "I've just learned that there's a class-action lawsuit against Film at Lincoln Center."
(spills full bottle of Diet Coke all over table)
Someone who hates acapella renditions of Imagine: “Gal Gadot is a girl chud.”
Diagrammatic diva: "We made a deal that when fascism takes hold, we're going to start vaping again."