Vol. 36, No. 18

December 6, 2014

Millions March: A Photo Essay

On Saturday, December 14, 2014, tens of thousands of Americans invested in fighting police brutality and promoting justice converged on Washington Square Park, marching up to 31st street and then down to the Civic Center to rally in front of the NYPD headquarters.

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Sexy Exciting Title

On Monday, December 7th, two seasoned reporters from the Nassau Weekly got the scoop on the Warwick Rowing Team of Warwick Rowers Calendar fame. The rowers release a naked calendar each year to raise money for the team. The proceeds … Read More

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Comic Sans Can’t Breathe

On Saturday December 6th, Chicago Bulls player Derrick Rose initiated a particular form of public protest and solidarity when he wore a shirt emblazoned with the phrase “I CAN’T BREATHE” before the Bulls’ game against the Golden State Warriors.

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The Blame Game

On November 4th, news broke that a student allegedly distributed a photo of a sexual act that occurred at Tiger Inn.

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No Life but in Things

Imagine, for a moment, that you are dead—dead not for a day or a year, but dead for many centuries.

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The Room is Spinning

It is 3 a.m and there is Advil by my bed. My phone is on my pillow. I have told four separate friends to text me when they get home, but I may fall asleep before they do. I didn’t know whether I was bringing anyone home tonight, but I made my bed just in case.

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The Personal is the Professional

I joined LinkedIn the summer before sophomore year. I had just started my first “real” internship, a public relations gig at a radio station in Boston, and felt remarkably grown-up sitting in a cubicle in black pumps and a pencil skirt.

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Racism as a Cultural Condition

Racism is a problem that we must confront wherever we produce and experience culture.

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Racial Profile

Before I saw a protest on the night of the Ferguson verdict, I was a cynic who idly by and did nothing but criticize as my brothers and sisters fought for change.

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Spray It, Don’t Say It

The first graffiti I ever saw were unremarkable messages etched into my middle school’s peeling wooden desks: people’s initials conjoined inside hearts, a mysterious pointy S shape, and invitations to “put an x if youre bored.”

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Canal

The doctor began to probe the inside of my ear with a stiff stick-shaped ear cleaner made of slender surgical steel.

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The BMW Dealership of Benares

“There is a BMW dealership in Benares now,” I tell a friend over Skype, “just outside the airport.”

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Soul Music

Hundreds of people are crammed into a tiny room and the room is pulsating—not in a figurative, metaphorical sense, but literally. Bodies bounce against each other, arms and legs thrash out angularly, and heads bang in unison.

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Carpe Campus

Any place that is affectionately known as the “Best Damn Place of All” cannot continue to be when bad things happen behind the FitzRandolph gates, and it gets even more difficult when the buildings themselves start yelling back.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in 1901-Laughlin

Junior Theta: Most orphans aren’t that fun. That’s why they’re orphans.

Overheard via text on Thanksgiving

Blackout Nasser: i love you
Boy: gonna Uber to you so stay awake
Blackout Nasser: no go home
Blackout Nasser: i have to bake pies in the morning

Overheard in Terrace

Girl: He said, “You’re so pretty, wanna make out?” And I said cool and we made out and then I left.

Overheard in dining hall

Terran: I had to take a shower, I was so drenched in my own moral filth.

Overheard in Lockhart

Ivy Theta: I love diamonds.
Ivy Pi Phi: Why? Because capitalism told you to?
Ivy Theta: No, because my grandmother told me to.

Overheard in Whitman courtyard

Kid with scooter: Do you know what to do if I have a boner?

Overheard in the Midwest

Wharton bro: All my frat brothers got kicked out of Dave and Buster’s sophomore year for doing coke in the bathroom.

Overheard on NJTransit

Student 1: Do you know Gabe?
Student 2: [doubtful pause]
Student 1: Haha, I don’t either.

Overheard on a Frontier flight

Flight attendant, over intercom: And if you do decide to smoke while aboard, we will send you to the left to the left, with everything you own in a box to the left.

Overheard in Laughlin

TI Theta 1: You’re not going to find a husband at TI.
TI Theta 2: ...Well, is Ivy open?

Overheard in 1903

Ivy senior: In my experience, when you have something great and beautiful...you don’t.

Overheard in VIS 211

Prompt: Before submitting be sure to spell check and edit for grammer [sic].

Overheard in Guyot

Professor David Wilcove, passing a woolly mammoth bone to a student: Feel it with your tongue.
Student: You mean lick it?
Wilcove, excitedly: Can you feel the porosity?

Overheard in E-Quad

Tenured engineering professor: [sticks entire head inside fume hood]

Overheard in the slums

TI junior 1: When do we go on tap, but for food, tonight?
TI junior 2: You mean dinner?
TI junior 1: Oh yeah. that’s the word.

Overheard in Terrace

Brooklyn resident, on his creative thesis: It’s like Girls, but with boys.

Overheard outside Cuyler

Girl: I think I’m the most basic girl at Princeton.
Guy: It’s Princeton. You’re not the most anything.