Vol. 36, No. 18

December 6, 2014


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Overheard in 1901-Laughlin

Junior Theta: Most orphans aren’t that fun. That’s why they’re orphans.

Overheard via text on Thanksgiving

Blackout Nasser: i love you
Boy: gonna Uber to you so stay awake
Blackout Nasser: no go home
Blackout Nasser: i have to bake pies in the morning

Overheard in Terrace

Girl: He said, “You’re so pretty, wanna make out?” And I said cool and we made out and then I left.

Overheard in dining hall

Terran: I had to take a shower, I was so drenched in my own moral filth.

Overheard in Lockhart

Ivy Theta: I love diamonds.
Ivy Pi Phi: Why? Because capitalism told you to?
Ivy Theta: No, because my grandmother told me to.

Overheard in Whitman courtyard

Kid with scooter: Do you know what to do if I have a boner?

Overheard in the Midwest

Wharton bro: All my frat brothers got kicked out of Dave and Buster’s sophomore year for doing coke in the bathroom.

Overheard on NJTransit

Student 1: Do you know Gabe?
Student 2: [doubtful pause]
Student 1: Haha, I don’t either.

Overheard on a Frontier flight

Flight attendant, over intercom: And if you do decide to smoke while aboard, we will send you to the left to the left, with everything you own in a box to the left.

Overheard in Laughlin

TI Theta 1: You’re not going to find a husband at TI.
TI Theta 2: ...Well, is Ivy open?

Overheard in 1903

Ivy senior: In my experience, when you have something great and beautiful...you don’t.

Overheard in VIS 211

Prompt: Before submitting be sure to spell check and edit for grammer [sic].

Overheard in Guyot

Professor David Wilcove, passing a woolly mammoth bone to a student: Feel it with your tongue.
Student: You mean lick it?
Wilcove, excitedly: Can you feel the porosity?

Overheard in E-Quad

Tenured engineering professor: [sticks entire head inside fume hood]

Overheard in the slums

TI junior 1: When do we go on tap, but for food, tonight?
TI junior 2: You mean dinner?
TI junior 1: Oh yeah. that’s the word.

Overheard in Terrace

Brooklyn resident, on his creative thesis: It’s like Girls, but with boys.

Overheard outside Cuyler

Girl: I think I’m the most basic girl at Princeton.
Guy: It’s Princeton. You’re not the most anything.