90 Princeton courses that were never taught 


  1. CHE 101/ARC 202/GSS 303: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss
  2. SPI 690: How to Make Your Girlfriend Finnish: Dual Citizenship and Green Card Marriages in Scandinavia
  3. REL 666: Devil’s Advocacy 
  4. POL 316/POO 317: Constipational Law
  5. ENG 203, 217, 263,  265, 312, 313, 314, 319, 320, 339, 340, 351, 357, 385, 441: White People Literature 
  6. ATH 099: Grace and Respect: Intro to Electric Scooter Steering
  7. SOC 569/FRE 521: Reading Foucault’s “Discipline and Punish”: How to Stop Laughing When He Says Penal 
  8. FRS 101: Navigating Relationships with Seniors
  9. EEB 440: A Holistic View of the Circle of Life: Being Born, Serving Cunt, Dying
  10. REL 420/GHP 420: Methods of Meditation: Zen Gardens (Stones for Stoners)
  11. PSY 310/CHEM 310: Chemicals and Consciousness (Stoners for Stoners)
  12. ENG/ECO 420: Wall Street Writing: The Art of Selling Out
  13. PHI 001: We are, like, but Dust in the Wind, Man
  14. MUS 8675309: Songwriting about Jenny
  15. ENG 207: But Stuff
  16. ENG 911: Covid’s Metamorphoses: The Poetry of Viral Variants
  17. VIS 130: Eisgruber Portraiture
  18. VIS 131: The Eisgruber Clay Bust [pre-req: VIS 130]
  19. VIS 900: Eisgruber Portraiture (Nude) [pre-reqs: VIS 130, VIS131]
  20. ORF 205: Statistical Modeling of Bare Minimum Passing Exam Grade on Night Before the Final [PDF Only]
  21. FRE 355/CHEM 362 : Wine Tasting and the Art of Tannins 
  22. PHIL 569: Booze and Deleuze: Drunk Metaphysics  
  23. EGR 201/EEB 201: Optimizing Your Outfit for Stealing Dining Hall Fruit
  24. EEB 301/LIN 301: Fighting (Or Befriending) Fruit Flies
  25. CWR 501: How to Be Quirky in the Nassau Weekly Email Chain
  26. AST/ECO 513: To the Moon? Questions of Cosmology and Cryptocurrency
  27. LIN/REL/AST/PSY 451: What’s “up”?
  28. ITA/LIN 245: The Semantics and Semiotics of Hand Gestures
  29. ART 001: Stick Figures and Suns in the Corner of the Paper
  30. CHI/KOR/ITA 152: Grass Type Starter Pokémon
  31. AAS 100/PHI 267: Should Princeton Exist? Only Answers Better Than Eisgruber’s in The Atlantic  
  32. ANT 302: No, You’re Not Just Delaying Career Choices: Upward Mobility through Academia
  33. MOL/CHM 333: Curing the Princeton Plague with Only a Bag of Cough Drops
  34. MOL 521/ANT 207: Navigating Gross Princeton Bathrooms without Infection
  35. FRS 123: The Big Boy Campus: Finding Classrooms, Letting Go of the Prox Lanyard, and Not Looking Like a Frosh
  36. MOL/NEU 420: Psychoactive Drugs and their Effects on the Human Brain [SEL]
  37. NAS 102: What is an Em-Dash?
  38. HIS 300/POL 300: Propaganda, the CIA, and the Art of Staying Faultless [required Junior Sem]
  39. FRS 234: Artificial Inebriation: Convincing Peers You’re Sooo Wasted Off One Terrace Beer 
  40. GSS/HIS/AMS 409: Slay Mama Whig: Queer Histories of Matricide in Revolutionary America
  41. MUS/SPI 305: Mr Worldwide: Pitbull’s Impact on Musicianship and Foreign Affairs
  42. LIN 2468: *Whom Do We Appreciate
  43. SLA 101/DAN 176: Introduction to Pole Dancing
  44. MUS/REL 808: Ye of Little Faith: Kanye West and the Rise of Celebrity Evangelism
  45. AST/GSS 201: Queering the Space
  46. PSY/ECO 430: Living in Your Head Rent-Free: Mental Health and the 2008 Housing Crisis 
  47. MAE/CBE/THR 333: Bunsen Burn and Cauldron Bubble: Chemical and Industrial Science of the Shakespearean Era 
  48. SOC 212/URB 212/LIN 212 Just Outside of NYC: Concealing the Fact You’re From an Affluent Suburb
  49. CHV 101: Choosing A Major Other than Econ and ORFE
  50. MAT 377/PSY 198: Setting the Right Number of Morning Alarms
  51. HUM 101/PSY 9000/LIN 333: Coming Out to Your Parents as a Humanities Major, Safely
  52. GSS 100: Mansplaining 
  53. PSY 455: Coughs that Echo: Deconstructing Social Discomfort in the Trustee Reading Room
  54. MOL 244/CHM 254: The Orange Petri Dish: The Historical Spread of Mono, COVID, and STDs on Campus
  55. PSY 322/CHV 103: Is it Socially Acceptable to Follow Your Professors on Twitter? 
  56. NEU 206/CWR 455: Writing about your Acid Trip 
  57. VIS 362/ECO 362: How Hard to Throw it Back in Your TikToks to Maximize Likes and Minimize Creepy Comments from Steve from High School
  58. MUS 400/CWR 300/LIN 300: Subverting Linguistic Norms for the Reason of Rhyme: Lil Yachty’s “She Blow that Dick Like a Cello” and More
  59. SOC 147/POL 300/GEO 109: A Methodological Approach to President Eisgruber’s Fossil Fuel Ass Kissing
  60. NEU 202/PSY 202: Is Your Crippling Inability to Get Out of Bed Due To a Sleeping Disorder or Depression or Both?
  61. AST 234/GSS 254: Boys Go to Jupiter
  62. MAT 265/LIN 101: Just Say “Math” Not “Mat,” Everyone Hates You For It.
  63. ILY 3000: How Not to Spoil the Ending of an Important Movie Two Days Before the Other Person Watches It
  64. MUS 216: Rock for Jocks
  65. GSS 111: Cocks for Jocks
  66. ENG 603/LIN 450/PSY 1001: Understanding What the Hell Eisgruber Actually Means When He Says Things
  67. SPI 109/PSY 208: Introductory Gaslighting: Convincing Security Guards at Eating Clubs that, Yes, the Person on that Prox is You
  68. PHI 240/GSS 240: No, Being a Moody Philosophy Major Doesn’t Make You a Catch (Unless You Also Smoke Hand-Rolled Cigarettes)
  69. HIS 310/SAS 310/CHI 310/ITA 310: Chai Tea Latte: An Origin Story
  70. ORF 210/VIS 210/CWR 210: Succession Case Study: Cracking Jokes at Your Wall Street Job
  71. SOC 450/CWR 450: Breaking the Ice: Finding Your Spirit Animal, Favorite Food, and Fun Fact
  72. MOL 517: Moles
  73. ARC 101: Problematic Naming: The Worst People to Name Your Art (Or Public Policy Schools) After
  74. ANT 444: Finding Your Heiress: How To Dress like a Trophy Husband
  75. EGR 001: Literally What Is Engineering
  76. MOL ???: Do I Actually Want To Be a Doctor???
  77. ST.A 101: How to Communicate Your Membership in a Secret Society without Revealing that you’re in a Secret Society 
  78. CWR 482: Is That ___ From Twitter? How to Become a Niche Internet Microcelebrity
  79. SOC 310: Exclusive Institutions at Exclusive Institutions: Greek Life, Eating Clubs, and the Clique of Elegant Grad Students Who Hang Out at East Pyne
  80. HUM 399/ENG 399/COM 399 “This Reminds Me”: The Art of Bringing Up Entirely Unrelated Texts During Your Seminar Discussion
  81. WRI 137: A Genuinely Helpful Writing Seminar
  82. REL 000: Atheism
  83. GSS 354/BIO 367: Girls Don’t Poop  
  84. ANT 509/MOL 509 : Steals on Wheels: Covering Your Tracks While Stealing Bikes
  85. FML/SMH/SOS 101: Using Acronyms to Disguise your Existential Dread
  86. URG 222: Rowing and why you should call your chiropractor
  87. AST 100 : Intro to Astrology (Fail Only)
  88. MUS/DAN 1738: Fetty Wap, the Harlem Shake, and other Early 2010s Middle School Dance Phenomena
  89. ECO/PHI/GSS 317: It’s Giving Share: Queerness and Communism
  90. COS 789: Why Six is Afraid of Seven

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