Verbatim

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Overheard outside Firestone during midterms

Four-year-old girl, to father: It doesn’t feel very fun here, Dada.

Overheard during SPA103 examination

*Annual TigerAlert Test notifications go off*
Huge football player: If I die, I die. I gotta finish this test.

Overheard in a dorm room

White Pi Phi woman, screaming: So, first of all, I got KICKED OUT OF THE BLACK AFFINITY SPACE.

Overheard on the UMatter Bus

Ivy junior to driver: Is there an aux on this bus?

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Consulting interviewee: "I just love thinking about different things."

Overheard at Wilcox

Student to friend, on professor: She teaches stuff fine — she’s not a brilliant mind, but it’s okay.

Overheard at Ivy

Member of James Madison Society: Cottage is disseminating Confederate propaganda again.

Overheard at a pregame

Woman, screaming over “Dancing on my Own” by Robyn: THIS IS COLLEGE OKAY. THIS SONG IS COLLEGE.

Overheard on Princetoween

Pi phi betch: I don’t really think about the Thetas until I see them in a group like that, and then I’m like oh my god I really hate them.

Overheard in Frist

Male lacrosse player, on The New Yorker: Is that a girls’ gossip thing?