Retrospective female: I used to use Tinder as a way of exploring the restaurants around here.
Frosh on a health kick: I don't do tropical fruit in my acai bowl. I'm more of a berry boy.
Nass EIC: The first time I tripped, I fully realized that I'm a pathological misanthrope.
Terran: I guess the most stressful thing I’ve done is smoked before a jazz band concert in my senior year of high school.
Jewish girl: You'll be happy to know my bat mitzvah was at a bowling alley – an upscale bowling alley.
Devout Catholic advertising for interfaith dinner: There will be food and ample opportunities for friends, fun, and evangelization.
SWUG (Sophomore Washed Up Gay): I was such a good boyfriend that they literally needed a trans-continental rebound.