Woke white man: Elizabeth Warren sucks, but I’ll happily vote for her once Bernie Sanders dies.
COS professor while playing Gregorian chants before class: Well, I like it. My wife HATES Gregorian chants.
Theater kid: So I went up to my room and put some peppermint essential oil on my nips…
Classics Major: Ever since Oedipus, I haven't looked at my mom the same.
Friend reevaluating this friendship: I feel like you should continue this conversation…without me.
Woman professor to woman student: Though I'm usually on your side, we must at least sometimes recognize that men are also human beings.
Jaded senior, discussing baby yoda: Like, you’re so cute, but you’re a product of a megacorporation.
Gay man voting for Pete Buttigieg: I thought I got into Princeton because my mom was a legacy and I applied as a Classics Major, but I just learned about pretty privilege and it might be because of the symmetry of my face.