The relationship between Public Safety officer and student is inherently complicated, as it is Public Safety’s job to both protect the student body, and enforce the rules of the institution upon it. While many students find the execution of University policy aggravating, they also understand that it is Public Safety’s job to keep the campus as safe as possible. However, recently there have been incidents where students feel Public Safety has intervened before it was necessary.

Ca: I think we need to have a talk.

Cb: What about?

Ca: I didn’t actually call you in here to take a shower. I called you in here for something else.

Cb: What’s that?

Ca: I called you in here because I think you have a drinking problem.

The album titles I want to highlight here earn my praise not as a result of vitality in any traditional musical- or thematic-unification, but because, they’re just pleasing somehow—they make me raise a bemused eyebrow, and then giggle like a schoolgirl. Is this not reason enough to crown a king?

It is a shame that most performers (or perhaps concert organizers) don’t have the courage to end a program with Bartók, instead opting for the Romantic route. With the Takács at the helm of the evening, however, the audience was willing to go wherever they took us.

Dear Chris—

We’ve done it!

Or rather, I’ve done it—successfully completed my first debate with Sen. John McCain, whom I refer to as ‘John’ in order to seem familiar and approachable and non-Muslim.

Started in 1985, the International AIDS Conference, organized by the International AIDS Society, provides an opportunity for health professionals, policy makers, NGOs, scientists, students, and leather daddies an opportunity to share knowledge and experience in the global fight against AIDS. It is the largest conference held on any one health issue, attracting more than 25,000 delegates from all over the world.

GREATEST INVASION IN FOREVER—NORMANDY
In the undisputed declaration by McCain, the American invasion of Normandy in World War II is “the greatest invasion in history, still to this day, and forever,” although he promised, snickering, that his future land war in Asia would give it a “run for its money.”

Another narrative about transportation in a foreign country.

A selection of articles (in progress) by Russell O'Rourke.

The first time you die, almost always, you get a feeling in the pit of your stomach, as though someone’s taken the bottom out. It feels like it does when an airplane is landing with you inside, as though all the strings of muscle and tendon holding your insides in place are being strummed by someone’s thumb.

The fact that I even own more than one article of lamé from American Apparel is pathetic. Wearing them all in one outfit was basically just a masturbatory statement of my “hipness.”

In the sultry, slow, even-toned raps his fans have come to love, Cam tells the story of his escapades with a fine young piece and how he changed her life by hitting the bottom of her punani. His voice rides cleanly over the lyrics he spits, even when they somehow don’t actually rhyme.