Wawa frosh: I can't eat fruit on campus. I have to go to the local farmer's market every Sunday.
First-year, thoughtfully and earnestly: All my friends at other schools are getting hazed right now, and, you know, it'll kinda be cool to be part of it
Washed up athlete, reminiscing: Yeah, he was an alcoholic... so that was cool.
Visibly upset girl, walking alone: Man, fuck the Catholics! God damn it!