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Overheard on NJ transit

Sad boy: The poetry grind never ends.

Overheard in the Siberian wilderness

Fulbright Fellow: Last time I drank too much I went skinny dipping with a group of seventy-year-old men and vomited freshly slain sheep heart in my mouth.

Overheard in Frist

Pi Phi, future banker: He's totally gonna be successful, he's so white and fat.

Overheard in Bloomberg

Devout Catholic to Marxist-Leninist: Who’s going to make the caramel gelato when the revolution comes?

Overheard in a NYC jazz club

Student: What's the summer recruiting timeline for a Princetonian Jew who wants to be a religious cult leader?

Overheard Murray Dodge

Nass editor: I want to go into journalism but it takes so much confidence and faith...and I’m an atheist with low self-esteem.

Overheard en route to Frist

Sophomore Ivy hopeful wearing a Canada Goose: I'm sorry I'm a man of the people and I don't know how to spell Moncler.

Overheard at Ivy dinner

Senior drama kid: I’m so ready to start preventative Botox at 25. Have you seen Jennifer Aniston?

Overheard on Ivy patio

Patagonia-wearing frat bro: Is anyone here in the 'Badass Marketers and Founders' Facebook group?

Overheard in a post-modern heartbreak hostel

Young Nihilist: I mean real talk – I wonder if animals that mate for one season – if they go through the same heartbreak as humans.