Single freshman: I really need to be fucking somebody with a foot fetish, because all I would need to do is put my foot in their face, get a foot massage, and then I could go to sleep.
Overheard in the Rocky common room
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Letter from the Editor
Dear Reader, Certain scholars have said that we need new literary forms to accurately reflect the anxieties of this generation. If you’ll indulge us in a navel-glance, this week the Nassau Weekly searches for a physical form that better reflects our sentiments. The Nass aspires to represent our age’s varied zeitgeist–this issue, our…
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Post-Post Modernism: Full Design
The Nass is ready to strip off all of this irony. We’re getting down to business.
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Nass List: Forgive me Father, for I have…
worn my heart on my sleeve turned around so fast my butt made a clapping noise fallen off gooned Been a freak Matched your freak Ordered a bride on doordash Been a mail order bride Been a weirdo. I don’t fit in, and I don’t… wanna fit in listened to radiohead. by myself. fuck my…









