The Literary Issue

March 25, 2004


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Overheard in a charming Montevideo restaurant

Girl: I think there differences in penises, beyond size or
circumcision.....things like texture, aroma, and body all come to mind.
Guy: Are you like some kind of penis connoisseur?
Girl: Yes, I taste them all the time.

Dramatis Personae: Two lonely junior girls scouting potential houseparties dates; a guy passerby.

Scene 1: Ivy dancefloor. 
Lonely Girl 1: Look over there at that guy's wandering hands. He looks
Lonely Girl 2: Do you see that hot freshman/ sophomore in the corner?
Guy Passerby: You should go for him!
Scene 2: Pyne Hall, later that night, girls still alone.
Lonely Girl 1: If we get really desperate we can put an ad in the
Prince and an idiot will respond.
Lonely Girl 2: I'm going to submit that to verbatim!
(Managing Editor's note:  Call me.  I have my own tux.)

Overheard on the Bus Ride back from Pi Phi Formal

If I could be anything, it would be God...If I could be anything else, it would be not from Ivy

Overheard on IM

Neurotic Jew 1: Dude, if you don't get ass this weekend, you might
actaully have to start working for it.
Neurotic Jew 2: Nah, I prefer living under the expectation that girls
will just show up at my door and want to hook up with me.

Overheard in Friend 017, while discussing t-shirt slogans

It's clearly a double entendre on networking, and I'd rather not hear a double entendre.

Overheard in the Zoo

Guy #1: Why aren't you in TI?
Guy #2: I would be in TI if I wasn't such a gay douchebag. That's why
I joined Terrace.

Overheard in Frist

Girl : "So how was it possible for her to get off and for you not to- isn't it the other way around?"
Guy : You know there is a reason why i go to the vagina monologues every year."

Overheard in Pyne

Guy #1: She said, 'I think I want to fall in love with you.'
Guy #2: What did you say?
Guy #1:I'm not sure, but my response had something to do with feudal