April 12, 2012


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Overheard outside Little

Sunglasses douche: Have you ever been in a class where you’re that guy who knows everything and everyone else seems like an idiot?

Overheard at Ivy

Drunk person: You should never ask for a blowjob. That’s like asking for a thousand dollar Christmas present.

Overheard at Terrace

Student using Siri: I want a joke about the Holocaust.

Overheard in Whitman

Sensitive lineman: You’re not funny, you’re hurtful sometimes...

Overheard at Ivy

Moron: She’s not a Theta, so socially she’s pretty much a nobody.

Overheard in Campus Club

Rhodes Scholar: Both the black Rafaels I know are black.

Overheard at Terrace

Bearded dude: I got strep throat from a long line of dicks.

Overheard on Google Maps

Disenchanted reviewer: Princeton is full of snobs! Besides the architecture of the school, the town has only 2 blocks worth seeing. The hospital is nothing like the TV show House, and no he does not work there! 4 blocks off the college is where the illegal immigrants gather and wait for day work. I was extremely disappointed in Princeton. I imagined a European type university village centered on a school with great prestige! Yeah, NO! not even close.

Overheard on spring break

Miami Beach denizen: The sequins on my bathing suit are rubbing against my crotch.

Overheard at night

P-Safe officer, exiting car, to other P-Safe officer (in a different car): What’s up mofo?

Overheard at dinner

Ivy junior: Why is the ALTA committee all Jews?
Ivy bro: It was originally going to be the Ashkenazi Life Total Assessment.

Overheard in Whitman d-hall

Dining services worker, on child discipline: You can’t have it both ways. Either you gon’ punish her or you gon’ whoop her.

Overheard outside Whit Lib

Sad guy: even if I don’t talk to anyone in the dining hall it’s still nice to remember that people exist

Overheard at men’s volleyball game

Basketball player: I don’t care what happens the rest of the game as long as that line girl takes the next one in the face.

Overheard on the Street

Drunk girl: I worked from 10-5.
Drunk dude spitting incoherent game: Better than 10-8.