March 8, 2012


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Overheard outside Nassau Hall

Earnest Asian boy: I don’t have to be making 6 figures at age 22 ... right?

Overheard on Twitter

Pi Phi freshman: Please don’t invite me to Charter events on Facebook. Or over text. Or in person. Or just at all.

Overheard at the CJL

Brunette person: I’m working in Frist on Wednesday night and there are people coming back from the Street--blonde people.

Overheard in Foulke

German aesthete: The army’s just a big frat.

Overheard in froshland

Theta frosh: I’m literally gonna look like a hot-ass bitch tonight.

Overheard in a hopeless place

Guy working: I think that I don’t even consider the effect of peer pressure anymore, I mean if someone came in and offered me heroin, I’d just do it. Well maybe not heroin, but coke.
Another tired guy working: (whispering softly) I’d do heroin ...

Overheard in Spelman

Upbeat girl with cocktail: Do you want to watch Grey’s Anatomy?
Weary boy: I’d rather shit in my own mouth.

Overheard in Frist

Girl: I don’t care about mental health week. I’m too stressed out for that shit.

Overheard at Old Nassoul arch

Inebriated Indian: I love this song. I wanna jizz on this song.

Overheard at pregame

AEPi freshman, to Theta freshman: Hi, I'm [redacted]. You look like a superhero.

Overheard in Robertson

Frat bro: Do you have to be debilitatingly poor to make cookies in Murray Dodge?

Overheard in Butler basement

Freshman boy 1: Now that I’m cool with the Jewish community at Princeton I need to get in with the blacks.
Freshman boy 2: Yeah, you could be like, “Happy Purim, what’s happening Mordecai my dude?” And be good with everyone.

Overheard outside Dillon

Triumphant bros: That was a GREAT game of handball. We really put it together as a team.

Overheard walking to dorm

Guy: So ... uncircumcised penises are like turtlenecks...
Girl: So do you have a turtleneck or um, a t-shirt?

Overheard outside the Colony

One colony bro, to another, while constructing some sort of sculpture of bamboo rods:
Dude, they’re totally gonna jizz when they see this.

Overheard on the stretching mats in Dillon Gym

Sorority girl on the phone: I don’t know, Dad. All I’ve eaten today are a couple of breathmints.