Bovinity
March 8, 2012
Verbatim
More →Overheard outside Nassau Hall
Earnest Asian boy: I don’t have to be making 6 figures at age 22 ... right?
Overheard on Twitter
Pi Phi freshman: Please don’t invite me to Charter events on Facebook. Or over text. Or in person. Or just at all.
Overheard at the CJL
Brunette person: I’m working in Frist on Wednesday night and there are people coming back from the Street--blonde people.
Overheard in Foulke
German aesthete: The army’s just a big frat.
Overheard in froshland
Theta frosh: I’m literally gonna look like a hot-ass bitch tonight.
Overheard in a hopeless place
Guy working: I think that I don’t even consider the effect of peer pressure anymore, I mean if someone came in and offered me heroin, I’d just do it. Well maybe not heroin, but coke.
Another tired guy working: (whispering softly) I’d do heroin ...
Overheard in Spelman
Upbeat girl with cocktail: Do you want to watch Grey’s Anatomy?
Weary boy: I’d rather shit in my own mouth.
Overheard in Frist
Girl: I don’t care about mental health week. I’m too stressed out for that shit.
Overheard at Old Nassoul arch
Inebriated Indian: I love this song. I wanna jizz on this song.
Overheard at pregame
AEPi freshman, to Theta freshman: Hi, I'm [redacted]. You look like a superhero.
Overheard in Robertson
Frat bro: Do you have to be debilitatingly poor to make cookies in Murray Dodge?
Overheard in Butler basement
Freshman boy 1: Now that I’m cool with the Jewish community at Princeton I need to get in with the blacks.
Freshman boy 2: Yeah, you could be like, “Happy Purim, what’s happening Mordecai my dude?” And be good with everyone.
Overheard outside Dillon
Triumphant bros: That was a GREAT game of handball. We really put it together as a team.
Overheard walking to dorm
Guy: So ... uncircumcised penises are like turtlenecks...
Girl: So do you have a turtleneck or um, a t-shirt?
Overheard outside the Colony
One colony bro, to another, while constructing some sort of sculpture of bamboo rods:
Dude, they’re totally gonna jizz when they see this.
Overheard on the stretching mats in Dillon Gym
Sorority girl on the phone: I don’t know, Dad. All I’ve eaten today are a couple of breathmints.