House Party

November 11, 2018


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Overheard outside Firestone during midterms

Four-year-old girl, to father: It doesn’t feel very fun here, Dada.

Overheard during SPA103 examination

*Annual TigerAlert Test notifications go off*
Huge football player: If I die, I die. I gotta finish this test.

Overheard in a dorm room

White Pi Phi woman, screaming: So, first of all, I got KICKED OUT OF THE BLACK AFFINITY SPACE.

Overheard on the UMatter Bus

Ivy junior to driver: Is there an aux on this bus?

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Consulting interviewee: "I just love thinking about different things."

Overheard at Wilcox

Student to friend, on professor: She teaches stuff fine — she’s not a brilliant mind, but it’s okay.

Overheard at Ivy

Member of James Madison Society: Cottage is disseminating Confederate propaganda again.

Overheard at a pregame

Woman, screaming over “Dancing on my Own” by Robyn: THIS IS COLLEGE OKAY. THIS SONG IS COLLEGE.

Overheard on Princetoween

Pi phi betch: I don’t really think about the Thetas until I see them in a group like that, and then I’m like oh my god I really hate them.

Overheard in Frist

Male lacrosse player, on The New Yorker: Is that a girls’ gossip thing?

Overheard on the Street

Frat president: Wow, we must have such high levels of toxic masculinity.

Overheard outside Alchemist and Barrister at 1:46 a.m.

Drunken woman to her friend: You’re not Jesus Christ, you’re not Mother Teresa, you can’t fix people. And she’s clearly broken.

Overheard during REL261 precept

Student: *sneezes twice*
Sixth-year grad student preceptor: They warned us during graduate student orientation. The freshmen will get sick and spread it to us.

Overheard in Frist

Guy at a table with friends: Eisgruber is doing a great job. (all laugh)

Overheard in Firestone

Liberal activist: I don't know about you, but Condoleeza Rice serves her tea BOILING.

Overheard at a pregame

Triangle biz chair: Nobody in Triangle can know that I drank gin with a mixer.

Overheard in a living room

Mother, trying & failing to turn on lamp: My three-way's not working!!

Overheard in Frist

Sophomore, self-diagnosing: I have like road-head scoliosis.