Publish and Perish

October 14, 2018


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Overheard on iMessage

Junior Editor to managing editor: I just bcc’ed you
I’ve never done that before
I think I need to take a shower

Overheard in Bloomberg

Nass web editor: I can name all the great Russian writers... have you ever read Nabokov ?

Overheard outside Bloomberg

Nass managing editor, screaming: WE WILL NOT BURN BRIDGES WITH DAVID REMNICK

Overhead on CapSpam

Excited junior: Ever since I started Juuling I've made so many new friends!

Overheard in Jadwin

Supreme Court justice, Sonia Sotomayor: And that’s how I got to Princeton... I got fooled.

Overheard in Cuyler

Architecture Junior: I broke his heart and his knee in the same day.

Overheard in Cuyler

UPC Jew: My school had one day of sex but it was on Rosh Hashana so I missed it.

Overheard on Prospect

PSafe officer to religious protestors: Yeah… we're actually more worried about these kids coming after you guys.

Overheard at She Roars

Supreme Court justice, on being famous in public: I have to be careful at the beach now.

Overheard on the M Train

Person 1: Music is just marketing.
Person 2: Could you elaborate?
Person 1: Not really, no.

Overheard outside Viv:

Former Pi Phi: The only things on my list of things I hate are tunics and tattoos of people's faces. The only things I love are unconventional couples that actually work really well together.

Overheard by the U Store

White privilege Cap icon after parents weekend: Fuck, I forgot to ask my parents for cash to pay for my weed.

Overheard through an open dorm window

Catholic boi, probably: Hey Alexa, wake me up at 8 a.m. with “Smash Mouth” by All Star.

Overheard on Nassau

Sophomore on the come-up: I'm lowkey always the alpha. I'm a Great White, bitch.

Overheard in Winberies

Junior who is OVER IT: It's not a Terrace shirt. Some of us just wear tie dye.

Overheard in Whitman dining hall

Frosh 1, on I'm interested in my heritage.
Frosh 2: You're white as fuck.

Overheard in Wilson Common Room

Sophomore: I don't buy the trinity thing. Jesus ain't God.
Friend: Can I interest you in Islam?