Don’t Forget to Call Your Mom

April 9, 2016


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Overheard in Frist

Frosh aesthete boy: We were going to go to a thrift store to get themed clothing for Sunday Funday but we decided not to...
FAB’s friend: Where is there even a thrift store in Princeton?
FAB: Well, we were gonna go to Target. Same diff.

Overheard on iMessage

Senior male: Fuck I misgendered [department representative]’s dog.

Overheard in Frist

V proper Junior theta: I’m gonna be so done after Dean’s Date. I’m gonna, like, shoot acid.

Overheard on groupchat

Senior TI woman: Does anyone have a suggestion for a way to check for plagiarism in your writing?

Overheard on iMessage

Lonely frosh, on Preview: Can guys host girls?

Overheard in Frist

Frosh girl: What should I wear tonight that’s, like, fun and slutty?
Frosh boy: Wait, is the theme slutty?
Frosh girl: No...that’s just my personal theme.

Overheard Writing Sem

PHS Alum: After looking through Tumblr, which is my primary source.

Overheard in Firestone

Progressive: I’ve come to self-identify as a U-Store whore.

Overheard in Frist

TI President Emeritus: Fuck, I forgot a fork.
TI President Elect: Hands are just big fleshy forks.

Overheard in Forbes

Upper West Side progressive frosh: My mom got me a black baby doll when I was little so I wouldn’t be afraid of black people. Well, there you go...I’m not afraid of black people!

Overheard in Terrace

Junior scholar: I have an interesting fact; 90% sure it’s true.

Overheard at TI

Blonde SAE: My first words were “dad is at work” in Swedish.

Overheard at Dinner

Terrace Junior, on prescription painkillers: You know, cozy pills.

Overheard in Linguistics lecture

Confused auditor to student, quietly: Wait, what does it mean? Bae?

Overheard in Palmer Square

Mother to her 5-year-old daughter eating ice cream: It’s really time for you to face the facts.

Overheard on campus

Jewish Day School alum: All my friends are either at the AIPAC Conference or the Hillel Basketball tournament right now.

Overheard while talking shit

Terrace senior: I’m showing up to the pregame fleek as hell. I absorbed [redacted] in the womb.

Overheard in Whitman

Bro to bro: Dude, this has been a socially awkward week.