Category: List

Nass List: We Need To Talk About…

  DAT PUSSY Das Pussi your fertile crescent Pregnant chicks kissing the tory’s new poetry section Queering the normal AI… how is no one talking about that?  the big beautiful BILL the big beautiful BBL how we are on a … Read More

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Nass List: Forgive me Father, for I have…

worn my heart on my sleeve turned around so fast my butt made a clapping noise  fallen off gooned  Been a freak Matched your freak Ordered a bride on doordash Been a mail order bride Been a weirdo. I don’t … Read More

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Lag Time Blues

The week before the United States general election, we solicited short-form narrative nonfiction submissions from the Nassau Weekly community. We hoped to gather and serialize scenes, images, and glimpses from Election Day and the following week. We asked writers to … Read More

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Nass List: What’s Your Type?

What’s our type?

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Room for Romance? Residential Colleges and Their Dating Prospects

Mathey / Rocky  They’re objectively beautiful. Cultured. Nuanced. The only problem is our age gap.    I really like their history lectures, but I worry our relationship can only exist in les amphithéâtres. They drink their coffee black, they enjoy … Read More

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Dating, in Five Metaphors

A Nass writer pulls out the real multiplicity of love in five little analogies

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Spooky Mysteries I May or May Not Be Able to Clear up for You

Documenting some of the spookier mysteries that psychically afflict this Nass writer

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My Thoughts are Running Away

A Nass writer beams 24 thoughts straight from his brain to yours

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My Drugs

In a ‘very special issue’ of the Nassau Weekly, we’re attempting to tackle one of the most controversial topics in recent history: drugs. Are we the first publication to do this? No. Will we be the last? I mean, I’d … Read More

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Hey, Big Vape! Make These Flavors Next

New Vape Flavors Vagina Ice Sweaty Ballsack Gelato Razzmatazz Orgy Rush Strawberry Strap-on Delight American Spirit Blue Ice Milk Tyra Banks Better Than Sex Hard Boiled Egg Ice Carbonara Lemonade Black Mold Blue Cheese Smoke Chromium Alloy Poop Charisma Uniqueness … Read More

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Nass Lists: Primal Urges During My Seminar

We all know the feeling: you’re sitting in your seminar when suddenly you’re overcome by an all-consuming desire to… Crack open my ballpoint pen and drink the ink like it’s a flask Drink a bottle of water like it’s filled … Read More

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The Definitive List of Who (or What [or Even Where]) is Mother

Chloë Sevigny Liza Minelli Parker Posey Email Charles Grodin My actual mom’s instagram Red shoes Pirating movies Saugerties, NY  Arby’s  Laura Palmer Tim Heidecker This one shirt I have  Ampersands  The number 28  Apple music (you heard me)  Philip Roth … Read More

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