Category: Humor

Nass List: What’s Your Type?

What’s our type?

by on

Room for Romance? Residential Colleges and Their Dating Prospects

Mathey / Rocky  They’re objectively beautiful. Cultured. Nuanced. The only problem is our age gap.    I really like their history lectures, but I worry our relationship can only exist in les amphithéâtres. They drink their coffee black, they enjoy … Read More

by , on

Dating, in Five Metaphors

A Nass writer pulls out the real multiplicity of love in five little analogies

by on

Spooky Mysteries I May or May Not Be Able to Clear up for You

Documenting some of the spookier mysteries that psychically afflict this Nass writer

by on

My Thoughts are Running Away

A Nass writer beams 24 thoughts straight from his brain to yours

by on

My Drugs

In a ‘very special issue’ of the Nassau Weekly, we’re attempting to tackle one of the most controversial topics in recent history: drugs. Are we the first publication to do this? No. Will we be the last? I mean, I’d … Read More

by on

The 3rd Nassau Weekly Smut Competition

CW: This is some gross stuff.

by on

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT: A Personal(ish) History of Fanfiction

“Now that it’s mainstream, it’s hard for me to reconcile the subcultural nature of fanfiction and fan spaces with its ever-increasing visibility. For almost a decade, I’ve been so entrenched in fan culture that it surprises me when someone doesn’t know what Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics entail.”

by on

11 Fall Break Movie Reviews

Yooo, fall break was a movie…

by on

Hey, Big Vape! Make These Flavors Next

New Vape Flavors Vagina Ice Sweaty Ballsack Gelato Razzmatazz Orgy Rush Strawberry Strap-on Delight American Spirit Blue Ice Milk Tyra Banks Better Than Sex Hard Boiled Egg Ice Carbonara Lemonade Black Mold Blue Cheese Smoke Chromium Alloy Poop Charisma Uniqueness … Read More

by on

True and False: Bacon Transgressions

Let’s play a game.

by on

Dear Princeton, Let Me Major in Warrior Cats

A truly interdisciplinary independent concentration.

by on