Blonde girl to black guy: Excuse me, you're my favorite color.
Girl: So I assume you've heard the song "David Duchovny I want you to love me." What's your- and your wife's- reaction?
David Duchovny: Well she was upset that nobody had written HER a song, so I told her I'd write "Teà Leoni I want you to blow me."
Girl: Is that "Snakes on a Plane"?
Former Ivy President: What are you doing next year?
Ivy Senior: I'm going to Argentina.
Former Ivy President: Oh, are you doing Princeton in Asia?
Girl 1: Yeah, and then we went to Ivy.
Girl 2: But we didn't see any blow.
Girl 1: Yes we did!
Girl 2: Oh, that's right! I forgot about that part.