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September 27, 2020

“Like we’re just as young as we used to be”: The Maturation of Taylor Goldsmith

A profile of the lead singer and songwriter of Dawes in anticipation of their album coming out October 2nd.

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Save Me San Francisco

An analysis of the increasing centrality of San Francisco to Democratic party politics.

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Sure

“I’ll take any reason, / absurd to God, for something new. / That’s why I stood up, no doubt— for a little color.”

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Lawn Story: On Grass and Other Marvels

“I was interested in regrowth—what better setting for that pursuit than the lawn, where lavender and hyacinth and rubrum extend their arms beyond their allotted plots?”

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Oeuvre Reviews, Joshua Malina: Scandal, Season 1

“As to why I decided watching Josh Malina’s oeuvre was a good idea: It’s not. As to why I
became a fan: Reader, I think he’s cute.”

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Verbatim

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Overheard in a GroupMe

RCA, about a college T-shirt: The only time I will touch that shirt is when there is a spill that needs to be cleaned up.

Overheard in Quarantined House

Sister approaching mental breakdown: I swear to God if there's food in there I will slap-
Sister removing a ziploc bag from a drawer: No, it's just hair.

Overheard on the Phone

Young Theologian: Since when does God occupy that kind of real-estate in my mind? At most he can come over for drinks on the patio sometimes.

Overheard at the Kitchen Table

White Boy: I think a lot of other pasty white people besides me are also in love with Phoebe Bridgers
Taiwanese-Mexican Boy: Wait, what does pasty mean? Is that like WASP-y?

Overheard in Seminar

Comp Lit Professor: I don't care about French.

Overheard in the Streets of Philly

Dude 1: This is the smoothest vape around.
Dude 2: That's like the worst sentence I've ever heard.

Overheard after Precept

Yung Democrat: You dated someone who wasn't even registered to vote!

Overheard during Global History of Monsters Lecture

Monster Rights Activist: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CONVINCE ME THAT THE ONE AT FAULT HERE IS CHUPACABRA'S MOM

Overheard in Bible as Literature Precept

Neuroscience major: "Authoritarianism isn't always bad."

Overheard in Florida Suburbia

Aggressive Feminist: You know how men used to take off their glove and throw it on the ground to declare war? I feel like women should just *violently gestures to remove bra and throw it on the ground*

Overheard in Florida Suburbia

Jaded Younger Sister: You know, when I say that I'm going to fail a test, I actually do. Next time, commit

Overheard on a farm in Georgia

Stoned Junior Girl: Drunk driving is my fantasy

Crossword

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