Writer: My mom likes reading young adult novels, like Fifty Shades of Grey.
Frosh with Labor Organizer Parents: "Solidarity Forever" was like a lullaby for me growing up.
He must have been really drunk if he admitted that he was a Mormon.
Miami Beach denizen: The sequins on my bathing suit are rubbing against my crotch.
Optimistic Dem to neighborhood full of Trump Flags: Halloween is over y'all. You can stop scaring the children now.
Dad: What children?
Optimistic Dem: Me, I'm the children.
Progressive female: Let’s take a moment of silence for all the women who have internalized misogyny.
President Lyndon B. Johnson, of a pair of pants: Yeah. Now, another thing: the crotch, down where your nuts hang, is always a little too tight. So when you make them up, give me a inch that I can let out there, because they cut me. They're just like riding a wire fence. [...] See if you can't leave me about an inch from where the zipper [belches] ends around under my—back to my bunghole.
Esther de Costa Meyer: Now this is the "withdrawing" room, where ladies would resign while men smoked cigars and drank whiskey.
Bro, quietly respectful: Word. (offers fist bump to bro sitting next to him)
“At sign”: The at sign or @, [is] also called the ampersat, apetail, arroba, atmark, acosta, at symbol, commercial at, curlat, or monkey choad
Girl 1: I just wanna go to Terrace and smoke cigarettes and be gloomy.
Girl 2: That doesn't sound like a good idea. Let's go to Tower and be HAPPY!
(While watching a commercial)
Girl 1: Is this for the Sims?
Girl 2: Um, itʼs for Grand Theft
Auto.
Korean-American Berkeley Student: “I’m descended from farmers so I’m from a farm. I’m a farmer too. It makes sense in Korean.”
Professor, on cellphone: Well, seeing as my range of e-friends is quite broad... [Pause.] Yeah, I wasn't sure you would get that, it's a list of my friends on the Internet.
Roommate 1: Ok, so who's hotter, Putin or Trudeau?
Roommate 2: …
Roommate 3: Why is there a pause??
Press Club girl 1, to Press Club girl 2: And you know I’m into the intersection between nice Jewish boys, intellectuals, philosophers, and communists.
Girl 1: How much semen is on that futon?
Girl 2: Well, as far as I’m concerned, mean people suck and nice people swallow, and I’m a nice girl.
Friend on couch: "Of these three books, which one did Sally Rooney write…Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, or Normal People?"
Barista tamping espresso: "Well, it's not Jane Eyre."
Linguist: I can’t tell if he’s gay or South African. If you saw him or talked to him once, you’d get it.
Nass editor’s roommate: If I had an English accent, I’d be capable of absolute devastation.
Tech bro: Well, uh, my moral compass is ChatGPT, so I'm not sure I'm on board with that.