Disappointed advice-seeker, flipping through the Torah: Oh. It's not about love, it's just about Lebanon.
Tired History major: I made up trans in Wuhan, that’s where they invented it.
Born in the wrong generation: When dick didn’t mean dick and gay didn’t mean gay the world was a better place.
A fledgling scholar: Bro, I just learned the Ming dynasty was real thing .
Math Professor: “It’s like you’re gonna have to go super Saiyan to visualize this…like level 17000 Saiyan…deep neural networks Saiyan…I’m just Saiyan.”
SLA Professor: “No, you need to understand the reason I hate Ivan so much is because he reminds me the most of me.”
Clumsy junior: “Through a series of Rube Goldberg-esque events, I have flushed my entire wallet down a toilet.”
Poetry Professor: “There are homeless people in this song. It's a very physical eroticism.”
Guy asking me to invest $600: “Cryptocurrency is the future!”
Me: “I just feel like it is made up.”
Same guy: “Money is made up by the government!”
Blondest guy ever: “I like the Nass. It’s like, in between a newspaper and a magazine.”
Sleep-deprived senior with misplaced priorities: “I haven't started my thesis yet, but I've ranked every bathroom on campus by pee-ability.”
Student talking to another student of the class of 2024: “It looks like your hair has depopulated on your head since the last time I saw you.”
Student after a night at Terrace: “It was annoying talking to him, so I hooked up with him instead.”
Passenger: “You know, you just can’t avoid meeting architects at Princeton…and there aren’t any good ones.”