The Nass Regrets the Error

March 6, 2016


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Overheard in Little

Alt junior male, to sophomore boy: Hey, do you want to join my frat? It’s called sad boys.

Overheard on the Internet

Christian Website: New Justin Bieber Song Was Just Leaked And It Is Beyond Sensual.

Overheard at Nass meeting

Nass freshman: I like myself because... I mean what is selfhood? I don’t know.

Overheard in Tower

Tower junior, on dating: To the political moderate, my Marxist orientation is like me owning a Harley.

Overheard in the splash zone

KA sophomore: If it’s been a while, it’s got velocity... Just kind of shoots up at you... I’ve gotten it all over my phone before.

Overheard at SAE apartment

SAE bro: There were no cool people at Terrace. I was the only cool person at Terrace.

Overheard outside Quad

Ben Carson disguised as a Princeton student: Ben Carson would be a terrible president, but he’s a great American.

Overheard on iMessage

Exasperated Butler RCA: I’ve decided that Instagram is too overwhelming for me. I deleted the app and will re-download when I post a pic each Sunday.

Overheard at Terrace

Terran Jew, on Brooklyn: We went to some nice dinners, tripped acid on Sunday. It was lovely.

Overheard in junior slums

Unaffiliated junior female to Theta: Can I wear sweatpants to Theta formals?
Junior Theta: You can but people will hate you.

Overheard in precept

Blonde WASP: it's not like he said something like, “Mein Kampf” and then took it back, he was like, strict with his ideologies.

Overheard Street

Basic frosh girl: I only hook up with models and athletes except for one narp but he was a senior so that makes up for it. Although he was in Cap...

Overheard at Terrace

Questionable academic: When I get tenure, I’m going to buy seven of the same suit and wear those for the rest of my life.

Overheard in history lecture

Professor: They say there are three things that make a good university. Football for the alums, parking for the professors, and sex for the students. . . I can’t say that or I’m gonna end up in the student newspaper quotes section again.

Overheard on iMessage

Senior woman, on desired: I’ve told too many people about him not to bang him at this point.

Overheard after TI semis

Soph Theta: You puked once, but in a very small, clean and relaxed way.