March 7, 2015


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Overheard on iMessage

Design editor on lack of verbatims: Everyone is too busy to say dumb shit.

Overheard in lecture on rituals

Man wearing safari hat: What do you think of cannibalism? I think I want to be eaten.

Overheard at 30 Burger

Gay sophomore: I feel like I'm doing a disservice to society by not having kids.

Overheard on plane to Newark

Male passenger: Is that associated with gayness?
Princeton student: Meerkats? No.

Overheard on campus tour

Tour guide, to tour group: I actually have a grad student friend and she's really jealous of all the opportunities we have.

Overheard in RoMa dining hall

There was this summer in high school when me and my best friend only spoke to each other in Okkervil River lyrics.

Overheard in Terrace

I just feel like the kind of people who join Terrace are the kind of people who browse Reddit, and the people who browse Reddit love cats.

Overheard on iMessage

Beleaguered sophomore male: I will be living in the slums with cockroaches and worse yet, two Zetes. THIS is the real "housing crisis."

Overheard at the Oxford Union

Kanye West: By the way, I don't know the days of the week. I just do to exactly when my appointment is.

Overheard in D1 Cover Letter

Freshman writing seminar student: My biggest problem at this point in the writing process is that I have no desire, motivation, or interest to write this essay, or even be in this class for that matter.

Overheard in Frist

Girl, agitated: No, I'm not going to clean the room because I'm a girl.

Overheard in Wilson

WWS major: But Woody Woo is just like that because we don't study anything. I think in a real major you study real things.

Overheard in Terrace

Grad student, sheepishly, to Terrace Officer: Do you mind if I bum some toilet paper from Terrace? I ran out at my place.

Overheard in Laughlin

Sage: Men in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...or masturbate during the day.

Overheard in Rocky

Frenchman: I don't think [Redacted] is gay.
Nassman: Oh, why's that?
Frenchman: Because he doesn't seem hopelessly in love with me.

Overheard in Wu

Girl 1, exasperated: You know what I have to stop doing? Eating.
Girl 2: I know. It's so bad.