Class Conflict

April 18, 2015

A Review

The senior thesis exhibition currently on view in the Lucas Gallery at 185 Nassau is entirely wordless.

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Amsterdam

Coming home from the city of sin and freedom.

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The Deal

The deal man.

The fucking deal.

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A Better Course Guide

COM/PHI 101: Is it lit?
ENG 201: Oh it’s lit.

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Ode to Daniel Pinkwater

CREATURES OF THE SWAMP

UNITE

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You’re Not OCD

You are eight years old, and your world is made of numbers. Your friends do not know.

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A Letter from the PC Brigade

Dear students,

I am a representative of your local branch of the Political Correctness Brigade.

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Of the Northeast Corridor

Reflections on the stops between Princeton and Penn Station.

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The Gansa Effect

“The night before the Lawnparties act announcement, I didn’t sleep—I slept for an hour,” USG President Ella Cheng told me last Saturday at a table outside Cafe Vivian.

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Reconstructing a Night Out

I woke up around 9 AM on Sunday, the Lord’s Day, and the first thing I noticed was that I was not wearing my clothes.

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Princeton Is Never Neutral

In the early hours of a Friday in the spring of 1978, two hundred and ten Princeton students piled into Nassau Hall and occupied it for twenty-seven hours.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in Cottage Lady’s Room

Indistinguishable female voice: This bathroom is worse than some of the bathrooms I’ve seen in India.

Overheard in Terrace

Senior math major: Apparently everyone had herpes in the ‘60s, you just dealt with it.

Overheard in Bloomberg

Jewish male, listening to Waka Flocka Flame: This song makes me want to throw up gang signs even though I know it would be wrong.

Overheard in TI

Junior Chi Phi: No, we don’t need a frat porn account. We need to buy a Settlers of Catan board.

Overheard on iMessage

Senior male socialite: Hey what would I have to do to snag an invite to pi phi I know I am a gay in a relationship but there must be some very desperate girls out there right?

Overheard in Terrace

PTL senior: Did you get a haircut?
Thesis-ing senior: No, I just don’t shower anymore.

Overheard outside 1903

Male prefrosh: You should really get Facebook.
Female prefrosh: I should...what’s your last name? I’ll contact you.
Male prefosh: [Gives last name] You should really get Facebook.
Female prefrosh: I should.

Overheard in Campus Club

Woman, to another woman: Do you want to be a subject?

Overheard in Cafe Viv

Bridge Year alum: His English is actually very good, in a Google Translate kind of way.

Overheard in Rocky

Social justice warrior: Unfortunately, there’s no critical theory plug-in for Microsoft Word.

Overheard in class

Aesthete: I don’t write in Spanish. I write in the language of Borges.

Overheard in Terrace

Senior dude: I think there should be a definitive ranking of islands based on the strength of their internet connection.

Overheard in Murray-Dodge

Sophomore Pi Phi: I’m like...really scared of ISIS.
Sassy baker: The best way to address fear is to join the enemy.

Overheard in Terrace

Senior, perched on railing: Breathlessly aristocratic is what I go for every day.

Overheard in Frist

Leftist Jew: I am way too busy to look at butts right now.

Overheard in TI

Urban studies minor: Oh my god Pinchoet is so hot...talk about a DILF.

Overheard at London book fair

Publisher: In a sense, it’s about the same thing most novels are about: white people, complaining.

Overheard in Holland Park

Sickly poet, upon dropping can of Orangina on the ground: Oh no, my lunch!