Celebrating 40 Years

April 14, 2019

Verbatim

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Overheard in Firestone

Woke Bridge Year Senior: This shirt is kinda appropriative but I'm out of clean laundry.

Overheard in McDonnell

NES major: yo, fuck the middle east tho…

Overheard in McDonnell

Premed, on chem professor: He's like, actively decomposing.

Overheard in Witherspoon

Emphatic Brooklynite: You just can't be Republican on the subway.

Overheard in the art museum

Nass EIC: Is there a wholesome phrase with “ass” in it?

Overheard in Wu

Freshman girl, accusatorially: Do *you* like Maria Garlock's aura?

Overheard on Ivy patio

Junior: I just wanted to take chocolate sauce and sprinkles and fuck up her whole life.

Overheard in Stone

History major with JP draft due in several hours: I just thought of something to do to procrastinate, but then I forgot it.

Overheard in New York

Gay male: I'm only friends with girls on birth control.

Overheard in an Uber

Terrace shaman talking about minimalism: It’s all about getting rid of things that aren’t actually necessary in your life.
Other Terrace shaman: What about a pasta maker?
Terrace shaman #1: No -- that’s necessary.

Overheard in Frist

Freshman washed-up girl: Yeah, I mean, I know he does Liars' club, but he's a good guy!

Overheard in the darkroom

Freshman girl: What would the girl version of your name be? Daniela?
Boyfriend: Uhh I don’t know, that’s kinda slutty.

Overheard at Terrace

Terrace senior, talking about modern concubines: Indentured servitude is coming back into style.

Overheard in Small World

Basic B: I'm dropping A's.

Overheard on R Train

5 year old WASP: Being scammed is a preference.