Hyundai Funday

April 21, 2019

Verbatim

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Overheard in Bloomberg 044

Former junior editor: David Foster Wallace is a pretty insightful guy.

Overheard on Prospect

Pre-frosh: Yeah, we just went to Tiger Inn but everyone there was asleep.

Overheard in Walker

White girl: Oh my god, why are you licking?

Overheard at Cafe Viv

Wawa frosh: I can't eat fruit on campus. I have to go to the local farmer's market every Sunday.

Overheard at Thai Village

Earnest foodie: Is crack vegan?

Overheard in RoMa

First-year, thoughtfully and earnestly: All my friends at other schools are getting hazed right now, and, you know, it'll kinda be cool to be part of it

Overheard at Boston College on Marathon Monday

Washed up athlete, reminiscing: Yeah, he was an alcoholic... so that was cool.

Overheard in 1927

Woke ORFE bro: The Honor Code is essentially denying evolution.

Overheard on a path outside Bloomberg

Visibly upset girl, walking alone: Man, fuck the Catholics! God damn it!

Overheard in Stone

Ivy COS Senior, delivering goodies to the poor thesising seniors: I feel like Marie Curie. Oh shit I mean Mother Teresa... the two most important women in my life.

Overheard at TI

Bro, chugging beer: Everybody looking at me like I'm a bitch but I've just got sensitive teeth.

Overheard in an anthro course

Professor: I’m not anti-capitalist, but I am anti- radical inequality due to the structure of bourgeoisie capitalism.

Overheard in New York

Girl: When my mom got drunk she would wave lighters in my friends' faces and tell them not to get pregnant.

Overheard at Ivy

Incoming MS investment banking intern: When I was little, I loved the smell of cash.

Overheard at a USG meeting

Macedonian: You don’t hear Undergraduate Student Government and think, “this is something I want to join.”