Breakout

March 7, 2021

Breakout – Full Design

This week, the Nass celebrates Women*s History Month with a series of brilliant, probing, and devastating pieces by and about women* of all kinds.

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A Letter from the Publishers: Celebrating the Women*s Issue

The co-publishers of the Nassau Weekly celebrate the third-annual Women*s Issue.

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Fake Housewives, Get Out

In which a writer contemplates the influence of housewives, real and fake.

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Refusal, Or: Three Cauliflower Ears

In which a Nass writer celebrates the work of prominent surrealist Leonara Carrington.

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Dream Diary

“As the months passed, we became two strangers who would only ever meet in dreams.”

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Stretchers

“They are not allowed to know the embrace of the sisters next to them”

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Weight Watcher

“No matter how good my grades are or how well I do in my after-school clubs, I fight with my body.”

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The Long and Short: Hair

“Every time I looked in the mirror, my cropped hair reminded me that I had suffered, had experienced something that none of my peers could comprehend.”

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Lincoln

“He wouldn’t have taken it normally, but there was a girl at Lincoln’s shoulder, a fiber science major who kept touching his button-down to inspect the weave, and he couldn’t tell afterwards whether she’d only kissed him because it was 100% cotton.”

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In Heat

“my body / remembering / it exists, unmoored, / metamorphosing, moistening / peeling lips.”

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Love Lessons

Wherein a Nass writer contemplates the influence of Disney on her burgeoning worldview.

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Verbatim

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Overheard in my living room

My brother: So, mom, how is menopause going?

Overheard while studying

Lapsed Catholic: I can't believe tomorrow is deadass Tuesday!

Confused Jew: Deadass Tuesday? Is that a Christian holiday?

Overheard outside LCA

Girl on phone: This is a bad idea. *Pause* Because it’s cannibalism.

Overheard in Voicemail

Overexcited Sister: Call me back! I have news that isn’t about me bleeding out!

Overheard at Covid vaccine megasite

Jolly EMT: This is a great job, actually. I get so many steps in per day.

Overheard in Zoom DMs

Frustrated frosh: You can either be evil or hot. No in between.

Overheard in Spelman

Senior COS major: why wasn’t I an English major? I’d have a 4.0… well maybe not a 4.0, but a 3.9 at least.

Overheard in the Dining Hall

RCA 1: I've always wondered what it'd be like to be tazed.

RCA 2: It'd be a fun study break.

Overheard in Spelman

International Student: I can't wait to get an American passport so I can apply to be on Survivor.

Overheard in Creative Writing

Professor, talking about Lord of the Rings: Mount Doom, yes. I grew up near there.

Overheard in HUM Precept

HUM professor describing the romanticism of pastoralism: The sheep never shit in this environment…

Overheard in Zoom

Classical Theater Prof: We can assume that since the beginning of humanity, there have been dildos.

Overhead while discussing theology

Concerned Jew: I just don’t want the rabbi to see my ass, I’m sorry.