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70 of Princeton’s Next Big Construction Projects: A Nass List
PRINCETON BUILDS: A doomsday bunker, an embassy for Bumble ambassadors, a cold brew river, and 67 other projects.
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90 Princeton Courses that Were Never Taught
All the courses you always wanted to take—if the university ever let you.
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59 Rejected Theses
Here in all their glory are our 59 (close enough, right?) rejected theses.
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The Last List
It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.
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111 Items on Eisgruber’s Search History
5. found out jewish what do I do?
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The Nass 100
Every spring, the staff of the Nassau Weekly compile a list of things they do not want to see next year. However, I realized it was unnecessary to involve other people in such a task, as I am disproportionately outraged. Also, my therapist thought it would be a useful exercise.
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103 Things to Do as a Prefrosh
The Nass compiled the definitive list of necessary prefrosh experiences
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113 Hangover Cures
Hangover alchemy is a bit more involved than water and Advil.
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145 Very Specific Anxieties
Things you didn’t even know you should be worried about.
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100 Reasons I Can’t Have Sex With You Tonight
My mom has the key to my chastity belt.
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101 Questions to Ask Eisgruber at Office Hours
What is Cap Love? How can I improve my relationship with my mother? what’s ur dick like? You’re Jewish but your name is Christopher… is that weird for you? Have you ever hooked up with a student? Be honest. Which one(s)? Are you circumcised? Is your wife circumcised? Can you use the word “titillate” in…