The philosophers tell us that everyone has, at some point in their life, given or received a handjob*. Science bears this out. Thing is, though, that handjobs just aren’t that great. Nobody really likes giving them, and, save for a … Read More
KILLERS Killers stars Katherine Heigl as an attractive, blonde, and slightly manic but single and unfulfilled woman who’s all too acutely aware that her biological clock’s ticking. As if by magic, shockingly attractive man of her dreams Ashton Kutcher comes … Read More
Garfield is a terrible comic. I hate to say it, but there’s no two ways around it. Whatever pep, zang, or originality the comic may have had at its inception has long since been drained over its twenty-two year continuing … Read More
__REPO MEN__
Repo Men is about a guy who does a thing with a partner in a dystopian future who fucks up that thing and then has to fight against his partner and, indeed, the whole of society, for the sake of truth. You might remember this movie as _District 9_, _Equilibrium_, the video game _Haze_, _Avatar_, _Minority Report_, _Fahrenheit 451_, _Logan’s Run_ and _The Giver_.
*OUR FAMILY WEDDING*
Are we so quick to forget the lessons of West Side Story? Latinos and blacks are natural enemies. When they fall in love, their families will inevitably feud, and it will be sassy as hell. YOU KNEW THIS WHEN YOU STARTED DATING, ATTRACTIVE INTERRACIAL COUPLE. YOU MUST HAVE.
“The editor of Analecta, the official literary and arts journal of the University of Texas at Austin, was flipping through some old volumes when she came across the writings of former UT student and current filmmaker Wes Anderson. Published in … Read More
__WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS__
Having been cryogenically frozen at the end of _Wall Street_, Kirk “Michael” Douglas has returned to wreak havok on this new, technologically advanced century with ’80s know-how and slick suspenders. As any movie buff would know, this premise is a direct rip-off of _Jason X_, the one where Jason kills people on a space ship instead of next to a lake.
At one point during their set at Terrace F. Club this past Saturday, Das Racist announced that they would not playing “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell,” the song many in the audience had come specifically to hear. “It’s a … Read More