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Byline: Dan Abromowitz

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Rage With Romney

Mitt Romney praying and drinking.

by Dan Abromowitz on October 12, 2012March 17, 2013

Faking Wes Anderson

“The editor of Analecta, the official literary and arts journal of the University of Texas at Austin, was flipping through some old volumes when she came across the writings of former UT student and current filmmaker Wes Anderson. Published in … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on October 20, 2010March 17, 2013

That Darn Cat

Garfield is a terrible comic. I hate to say it, but there’s no two ways around it. Whatever pep, zang, or originality the comic may have had at its inception has long since been drained over its twenty-two year continuing … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on February 9, 2011March 17, 2013

The Movies, Today

Jesse meets Ethan. Ethan’s a little geeky, but luckily he’s the cute kind of geeky where he’s all “aw shucks” and witty and goofy…

by Dan Abromowitz on April 7, 2010March 22, 2013

The Romney Boys, Remembered

Brothers of Jared.

by Dan Abromowitz on November 7, 2012March 17, 2013

Human-Bone Scythes, Poleaxes, Death and Boobs

As you might have guessed, the _Nassau Weekly_ is full of a bunch of super-nerds who are really into books and junk. To give you an indication of how into books they are, consider this: Every week, they have their … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on March 24, 2010March 17, 2013

I Am Not Proud Of My History

Things that I’ve Googled.

by Dan Abromowitz on December 7, 2011March 17, 2013

A Short Imagined Monologue By A Guy Trying To Trick A Student To Prox Him In In Order To Break Into A Dorm And Has Prepared For This Moment By Hanging Around Frist A Few Days

“Listen, I just got in on the Dinkory…”

by Dan Abromowitz on November 28, 2012March 17, 2013

The Movies, Today

__RED__ (Link)

Finally tapping into the coveted “Action Movie-Goers Ages 55-64” demographic is _RED,_ the first movie to fully recognize that the bad-ass old guy is the most bad-ass bad-ass possible. For that matter, I think I am not exaggerating when I say that, by and large, the older the practitioner, the more raw the feat. I dare you to name one thing that’s not raw as hell when done by a dude or lady of years. Doing push-ups. Chopping firewood. Yelling at Koreans. Speaking to a nation. Chugging a beer.

by Dan Abromowitz on September 13, 2010March 22, 2013

The Movies, Today

*OUR FAMILY WEDDING*
Are we so quick to forget the lessons of West Side Story? Latinos and blacks are natural enemies. When they fall in love, their families will inevitably feud, and it will be sassy as hell. YOU KNEW THIS WHEN YOU STARTED DATING, ATTRACTIVE INTERRACIAL COUPLE. YOU MUST HAVE.

by Dan Abromowitz on February 17, 2010March 22, 2013

Just Say No

The philosophers tell us that everyone has, at some point in their life, given or received a handjob*. Science bears this out. Thing is, though, that handjobs just aren’t that great. Nobody really likes giving them, and, save for a … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on October 5, 2011March 17, 2013

Why Do They Sound Like That?

Dissecting frogs of the throat.

by Dan Abromowitz on April 18, 2012March 22, 2013


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