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Byline: Dan Abromowitz

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The Movies, Today

*OUR FAMILY WEDDING*
Are we so quick to forget the lessons of West Side Story? Latinos and blacks are natural enemies. When they fall in love, their families will inevitably feud, and it will be sassy as hell. YOU KNEW THIS WHEN YOU STARTED DATING, ATTRACTIVE INTERRACIAL COUPLE. YOU MUST HAVE.

by Dan Abromowitz on February 17, 2010March 22, 2013

Limbo Kings

In classic Radiohead fashion, the quirky quartet have kept quite mum in the face of an absolute tsunami of questions about The King and his Limbs. To sort out the shit from shinola, I’m gonna get right into it and do my honest best to clear up some of the main questions surrounding the release.

by Dan Abromowitz on February 16, 2011March 17, 2013

Why Do They Sound Like That?

Dissecting frogs of the throat.

by Dan Abromowitz on April 18, 2012March 22, 2013

A Man is Defined by his Actions

Having finally made his decision after weeks of deliberation, including long sessions of pacing, breaking into sprawling, silent walks from his apartment to the piers to the bridge to the square and then back, all the while considering implications and … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on April 28, 2010March 17, 2013

Just Say No

Passionately against the handjob.

by Dan Abromowitz on September 8, 2012March 17, 2013

The Movies, Today

__RED__ (Link)

Finally tapping into the coveted “Action Movie-Goers Ages 55-64” demographic is _RED,_ the first movie to fully recognize that the bad-ass old guy is the most bad-ass bad-ass possible. For that matter, I think I am not exaggerating when I say that, by and large, the older the practitioner, the more raw the feat. I dare you to name one thing that’s not raw as hell when done by a dude or lady of years. Doing push-ups. Chopping firewood. Yelling at Koreans. Speaking to a nation. Chugging a beer.

by Dan Abromowitz on September 13, 2010March 22, 2013

I Am Not Proud Of My History

Things that I’ve Googled.

by Dan Abromowitz on December 7, 2011March 17, 2013

Farewell, Connor

Several weeks ago President Shirley Tilghman, Dean of the College Nancy Weiss Malkiel, and memoirist Cornel West gave their final regards to former USG president, Pyne Prize winner and reality television show contestant Connor Diemand-Yauman in a private, unpublicized ceremony. … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on May 26, 2010March 22, 2013

A Short Imagined Monologue By A Guy Trying To Trick A Student To Prox Him In In Order To Break Into A Dorm And Has Prepared For This Moment By Hanging Around Frist A Few Days

“Listen, I just got in on the Dinkory…”

by Dan Abromowitz on November 28, 2012March 17, 2013

The Romney Boys, Remembered

Brothers of Jared.

by Dan Abromowitz on November 7, 2012March 17, 2013

Just Say No

The philosophers tell us that everyone has, at some point in their life, given or received a handjob*. Science bears this out. Thing is, though, that handjobs just aren’t that great. Nobody really likes giving them, and, save for a … Read More

by Dan Abromowitz on October 5, 2011March 17, 2013

Physical Princeton

Space in this Princeton place.

by Dan Abromowitz on November 28, 2012September 7, 2013


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