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Byline: Conor Gannon

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Debate Scorecard

GREATEST INVASION IN FOREVER—NORMANDY
In the undisputed declaration by McCain, the American invasion of Normandy in World War II is “the greatest invasion in history, still to this day, and forever,” although he promised, snickering, that his future land war in Asia would give it a “run for its money.”

by Conor Gannon on October 2, 2008March 17, 2013

*Life Story* starring Jeff Goldblum

*Life Story* starring Jeff Goldblum
The mystery has a name, Jeff Goldblum.

by Conor Gannon on December 10, 2009March 17, 2013

Experimental History

As _Avatar_ gradually accrued its second billion dollars in the last few weeks, coverage of the film itself (rather than its receipts) sank from complacent praise to idle speculation. Was the film racist? Well, accidentally. Is there going to be … Read More

by Conor Gannon on February 3, 2010March 17, 2013

Prose Poem

Editor’s Note: What follows is composed from features published in The New Yorker between September and December 2010. No alterations beyond rearrangement were made to the texts, excepting those that ensured gender, tense and number agreement.

by Conor Gannon on February 16, 2011March 17, 2013

“There’s this rich guy, he wants to be famous”

Close your eyes. Are they closed? No, good point, I guess you’ll need to keep them open to read the Powerpoint. Okay, close them when you can, and otherwise close your inner eye, or eyes. The number of inner eyes … Read More

by Conor Gannon on February 10, 2010March 17, 2013

“Push, Push, in the Bush”

When browsing classic disco blogs—always maintained by sweaty, foreign men, a tendency I have learned from the pictures of themselves they publish inexplicably—one can only judge the quality of the records by their album covers. There are no band biographies, no album reviews, no other photographs: it is a cultural archive without history or salesmanship. Determining quality with so little information is a delicate but logical process, the mechanics of which can only be explained by example.

by Conor Gannon on November 13, 2008March 17, 2013

The 20 Most Popular People at Princeton

This past Sunday, three of the Nassau Weekly’s best-trained sabermetricians compiled data from Princeton Facebook in order to rank the graduating class of seniors in an objective and accurate manner according to a single metric: notoriety. This was not hard. No computer programs were required, although they might have helped. All the team had to do was log in to facebook.princeton.edu, run an Advanced Search for the class of 2009, and copy one piece of information from each of the 1,198 profiles: Profile Views.

by Conor Gannon on April 23, 2009March 17, 2013

Obama on Afghanistan

Live Blogging of the President’s address on December 1, 2009.

by Conor Gannon on December 3, 2009March 17, 2013

Play My Music

I had never heard a Jonas Brothers song before the first week of this school year. I was throwing a pre-game for Lawnparties, offering Tequila Sunrises and mojitos in the a.m.—the youngest oldest thing Princeton students do. The eclectic and up-to-the-minute iTunes playlist I had made for the occasion had run out, and some roommate of a friend had taken over the computer to keep the mood going. “‘Burnin’ Up’!” someone requested. Probably the new Usher single, I thought, and then a nineteen- or twenty-year-old played me my first Jonas Brothers song. “Don’t they wear chastity rings?” I asked no one.

by Conor Gannon on September 25, 2008March 17, 2013

Mr. Poem

Mouth taking the form
around like the moistening apple core
which deforms peculiarly
in the way of these things,

by Conor Gannon on October 13, 2010March 17, 2013

No Direct Speech Allowed

The case for Anne Carson’s _Nox_ might begin with its box (that’s not binding): grey with white binding (that’s not binding) and a single silver sliver, in which stands a boy diver on grass maybe forty summers ago, wearing superhero … Read More

by Conor Gannon on September 22, 2010March 17, 2013

Here We Go Again

You might have heard that a half-black man named Barack Obama is running for President. This sounds ridiculous, but the last few weeks have revealed that some have not.

by Conor Gannon on March 27, 2008March 17, 2013


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