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Byline: Conor Gannon

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“Push, Push, in the Bush”

When browsing classic disco blogs—always maintained by sweaty, foreign men, a tendency I have learned from the pictures of themselves they publish inexplicably—one can only judge the quality of the records by their album covers. There are no band biographies, no album reviews, no other photographs: it is a cultural archive without history or salesmanship. Determining quality with so little information is a delicate but logical process, the mechanics of which can only be explained by example.

by Conor Gannon on November 13, 2008March 17, 2013

Creole

“All gone Quinn.”
“Who sir?”
“Shy Anne.”
“You sure?”

by Conor Gannon on October 13, 2010March 17, 2013

The 20 Most Popular People at Princeton

This past Sunday, three of the Nassau Weekly’s best-trained sabermetricians compiled data from Princeton Facebook in order to rank the graduating class of seniors in an objective and accurate manner according to a single metric: notoriety. This was not hard. No computer programs were required, although they might have helped. All the team had to do was log in to facebook.princeton.edu, run an Advanced Search for the class of 2009, and copy one piece of information from each of the 1,198 profiles: Profile Views.

by Conor Gannon on April 23, 2009March 17, 2013

Debate Scorecard, Part III

HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN HE MAKE IT RAIN—GEORGE BUSH “[T]his is a final verdict on the failed economic policies of the last eight years… that essentially said that we should strip away … Read More

by Conor Gannon on October 16, 2008March 17, 2013

Debate Scorecard, Redux

WICKEDEST CENSORS—CNN “Hey, can I call you Joe?” she asked. “[Off-mike],” he responded. BEST MIXED METAPHOR—SARAH PALIN “The barometer there, I think, is going to be resounding that our economy is hurting.” MOST GERUNDS—SARAH PALIN Gerunds are for the weak, … Read More

by Conor Gannon on October 9, 2008March 17, 2013

Billy Collins Reading “The Names” Before Congress (September 6, 2002)

“This snowfall is my final fantasy. Once America the woman was coming on my dick, her flag pin a pinhole to a world without strife. But then—” he sneezes. “Let me begin again. Terrorism. The weeping willow lowers her hair … Read More

by Conor Gannon on March 31, 2010March 17, 2013

*Life Story* starring Jeff Goldblum

*Life Story* starring Jeff Goldblum
The mystery has a name, Jeff Goldblum.

by Conor Gannon on December 10, 2009March 17, 2013

Experimental History

As _Avatar_ gradually accrued its second billion dollars in the last few weeks, coverage of the film itself (rather than its receipts) sank from complacent praise to idle speculation. Was the film racist? Well, accidentally. Is there going to be … Read More

by Conor Gannon on February 3, 2010March 17, 2013

The Helmand

Bam. B-r-ck, b-r-ck. No one is dead. No one is here.
This is a poem about my brother in Afghanistan.

by Conor Gannon on November 19, 2009March 22, 2013

1-800-GENOCIDE

The audience for Samantha Power last Friday appeared to be the usual crowd for talks at Princeton: half students interested in the subject matter at hand, and half older townies getting a taste of culture. “War Crimes and Genocide Today: What Can One Person Do?” was hosted by the Woodrow Wilson School, and it showed in the composition of the crowd. The students had a confused, sympathetic mixture of careerism and noblesse oblige; one, after asking what she should do to prepare for her trip to Bosnia this summer (that’s right, she’s going to Bosnia, folks! Sniper fire!), was happily offered a card from the wife of a UN official. The older ones, on the other hand, had the weary, insecure but comfortable look of those inhabiting the many, multiplying rings of power just outside the one that matters. “What can one person do,” of course, is heard by all of these people as “What can I do?”—a question that, in its necessity and its limitations, cuts to the heart of what is both brilliant and unfortunate about Samantha Power.

by Conor Gannon on April 10, 2008March 17, 2013

Obama on Afghanistan

Live Blogging of the President’s address on December 1, 2009.

by Conor Gannon on December 3, 2009March 17, 2013

No Direct Speech Allowed

The case for Anne Carson’s _Nox_ might begin with its box (that’s not binding): grey with white binding (that’s not binding) and a single silver sliver, in which stands a boy diver on grass maybe forty summers ago, wearing superhero … Read More

by Conor Gannon on September 22, 2010March 17, 2013


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