Nassau Weekly

Anonymous

  • 21 Club

    21 Club

    —

    by

    in

    Binge drinking in secrecy.

  • Hello, My Name Is ______.

    Hello, My Name Is ______.

    —

    by

    in

    I was seventeen. A senior second semester saturated with drugs, alcohol and bad decisions written off as “youth” had ended in a hospital bed on prom night, and, subsequently, in daily, forced AA meetings. I’d thought I was on top of the world: going to an Ivy League school, surrounded by friends, graduating top of…

  • Fun with Oulipo

    Fun with Oulipo

    —

    by

    in

    The Unknown As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, The ones we don’t know We don’t know. —Donald Rumsfeld, Feb. 12,…

  • The Wawa Fans

    The Wawa Fans

    —

    by

    in

    Well, after being bestowed with the MVC(Most-Valued-Cashier) by the Spectator, I felt compelled to return the favor by bestowing awards on my most loyal fans. After all, where would I be without them? So without further ado and without all the fanfare of large scale expensive award ceremonies that drag on for hours on end…

  • The Shtup of Whatever

    The Shtup of Whatever

    —

    by

    in

    Sort-of gay frosh week.

  • Fears, Beers, and Freshman Year

    Fears, Beers, and Freshman Year

    —

    by

    in

    “Excuse me, do you have an extra cigarette?” I asked a woman outside New York Penn Station on my way home from Reunions in June. As I inhaled, the previous nine months began to transform from life to memory, things that were happening to things that had happened, becoming things that had happened to me…

  • Falling Out and Into Faith

    Falling Out and Into Faith

    —

    by

    in ,

    It stung to realize that I was less than what my family thought, and I began to feel an unbridgeable distance between us. I blamed myself, but I also blamed the God who my family had always promised would help me. I tried my best. Why am I failing?

  • The Last List

    The Last List

    —

    by

    in ,

    It’s the apocalypse, and in its last death rattle, the illustrious Nassau Weekly decides to leave one more gift to humanity, to create the only remembrance of our time on earth, to cement an eternal legacy—to publish THE LAST LIST.

  • Tell Me Why

    Tell Me Why

    —

    by

    in

    Gregg Gillis sits in the library of Terrace Club; a few minutes ago he was eating potatoes. He is of average height and has enormous white teeth. He speaks rapidly and giddily, as though school has just been cancelled.

  • The Fifth Column

    The Fifth Column

    —

    by

    in

    My father did consulting for years. Whenever he—or my uncle, also a consultant—began talking about work, I thought about their offices. They were small, poorly-lit rooms with terrible furniture, located in commercial parks off county roads. They were depressing. My father’s company was named Source Atlantic, and it was a limited-liability corporation, meaning Source Atlantic…

  • A Fragile Peace

    A Fragile Peace

    —

    by

    in ,

    Commentary on Anna Kimmel’s “you’ve heard it before | you’ll hear it again” and suicide across college campuses

  • Lines Removed From a Eulogy

    Lines Removed From a Eulogy

    —

    by

    in

    And what’s more there’d be too much to tell, with his folded-up face and our proximity, the fact that we’d lived so close to each other growing up, that in high school we’d mostly talk to the same girls and dress the same and find the same tired things funny; and in any case there’s…