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An Argument for Bigness

‘Reading,’ as describing a certain activity of eye-sliding-over-page, with eye recognizing ink blobs corresponding (by means of whatever neural calculus) either (1) to something like second-order phonemes, and therefore to certain aural centers and therefore to speech-parts of the brain, which ‘articulate’ meaning to other parts, or (2) to something like second-order morphemes, and therefore to certain visual centers, and therefore to picture-parts of the brains, which ‘project’ meanings to other parts, or (3) to some combination of (1) and (2)[1]—well, ignore that or bracket it, because I have 1,000 words and a little over, say, ten minutes to argue for long and arduous works of literature, their import and glory—and, specifically, for the particularly long and particularly arduous recent novels of Roberto Bolaño and David Foster Wallace.

by Anonymous on May 28, 2009February 26, 2014

An E-mail I Received from Barack Obama, Democratic Nominee for President of America

Dear Chris—

We’ve done it!

Or rather, I’ve done it—successfully completed my first debate with Sen. John McCain, whom I refer to as ‘John’ in order to seem familiar and approachable and non-Muslim.

by Anonymous on October 2, 2008February 26, 2014

The Fifth Column

My father did consulting for years. Whenever he—or my uncle, also a consultant—began talking about work, I thought about their offices. They were small, poorly-lit rooms with terrible furniture, located in commercial parks off county roads. They were depressing. My … Read More

by Anonymous on February 14, 2008February 26, 2014

An Apology

Two weeks ago, the October 4 issue of the Nassau Weekly ran a cover lamenting the entirely fictional passing of Juergen Habermas. While our last issue intended to remedy what was supposed to be a humorous presentation of our lack … Read More

by Anonymous on October 17, 2007March 17, 2013

Three Poems

Ad Pulcherissimam Fireassam Mariannam These humid days Tend to craze More than desert sun. But if her heat Will join this heat Then come come Delirium! The Beautiful Bain of My Existence (Jonesin’) We’re all struck soon or late, you … Read More

by Anonymous on October 10, 2007March 17, 2013

Remembering Lord Curzon: A Nobleman Among Men (1859-1925)

George Nathaniel Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston, KG, GCSI, GCIE, PC was a man few of us can afford to forget. Besides keeping the bloody Russians out of India, he wore a metal corset to combat a spinal injury … Read More

by Anonymous on October 10, 2007March 17, 2013

Habermas Alive! Deleuze Resurrected

We wish to apologize for an error in our last issue. Jurgen Habermas is not, in fact, dead. He is alive and well. Not only this, but Gilles Deleuze, famed French anarcho-philosopher, is no longer dead. Upon reading our illustrative … Read More

by Anonymous on October 10, 2007March 17, 2013

Jürgen Habermas Is Dead

Jürgen Habermas, born June 19, 1929, in a wood-frame house near the Vorort of Düsseldorf, passed away last Tuesday at the age of 78.

by Anonymous on October 3, 2007February 26, 2014

Our favorite ideal ideologues

1.Suzanne Westbrook 2.Jesus of Nazareth 3.Julian the Apostate 4.Robbie George 5.Stefan McDaniel 6.Martin Heidegger 7.Mammon, God of Wealth 8.Paul of Tarsus 9.Sara Viola 10.John Maynard Keynes 11.Hannah Arendt 12.Will ‘The Scharf’s Scharf’ Scharf 13.Karl Marx 14.Harold Graham Parker III / … Read More

by Anonymous on October 3, 2007March 17, 2013

Shaking My Hips Dolefully

Beirut played at Terrace this Sunday. You might have heard him. You might even have been there, drinking, doing your thing. The place was crowded.

by Anonymous on September 26, 2007February 26, 2014

Simile

I have written poems pomes (pennyeach) like pommes as in pommes de terre those roots with eyes— and now I write in my eyes, to my eyes à mes yeux which means in another light ‘by my way of thinking’— … Read More

by Anonymous on May 1, 2007February 26, 2014

A Yacht Club Party is Winding Down

The last few bars of a big-band tune exposing themselves without a hint of self-awareness and the half-sober apercus of a gaggle of twenty or so be-sequined, be-suited women and men of a certain age their laughter playing soft on … Read More

by Anonymous on May 1, 2007February 26, 2014


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