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An Argument for Bigness
‘Reading,’ as describing a certain activity of eye-sliding-over-page, with eye recognizing ink blobs corresponding (by means of whatever neural calculus) either (1) to something like second-order phonemes, and therefore to certain aural centers and therefore to speech-parts of the brain, which ‘articulate’ meaning to other parts, or (2) to something like second-order morphemes, and therefore…
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An E-mail I Received from Barack Obama, Democratic Nominee for President of America
Dear Chris— We’ve done it! Or rather, I’ve done it—successfully completed my first debate with Sen. John McCain, whom I refer to as ‘John’ in order to seem familiar and approachable and non-Muslim.
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The Fifth Column
My father did consulting for years. Whenever he—or my uncle, also a consultant—began talking about work, I thought about their offices. They were small, poorly-lit rooms with terrible furniture, located in commercial parks off county roads. They were depressing. My father’s company was named Source Atlantic, and it was a limited-liability corporation, meaning Source Atlantic…
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An Apology
Two weeks ago, the October 4 issue of the Nassau Weekly ran a cover lamenting the entirely fictional passing of Juergen Habermas. While our last issue intended to remedy what was supposed to be a humorous presentation of our lack of journalistic integrity, we realize that what is needed is not a stylized retraction, but…
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Three Poems
Ad Pulcherissimam Fireassam Mariannam These humid days Tend to craze More than desert sun. But if her heat Will join this heat Then come come Delirium! The Beautiful Bain of My Existence (Jonesin’) We’re all struck soon or late, you know By taxes death and Carey At least that’s what I tell my self To…
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Remembering Lord Curzon: A Nobleman Among Men (1859-1925)
George Nathaniel Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston, KG, GCSI, GCIE, PC was a man few of us can afford to forget. Besides keeping the bloody Russians out of India, he wore a metal corset to combat a spinal injury from horseback riding – no sissy chiropractics for the Viceroy of India. Let us go…
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Habermas Alive! Deleuze Resurrected
We wish to apologize for an error in our last issue. Jurgen Habermas is not, in fact, dead. He is alive and well. Not only this, but Gilles Deleuze, famed French anarcho-philosopher, is no longer dead. Upon reading our illustrative magazine, both intellectual heavyweights have agreed to write their own advice columns. In order to…
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Jürgen Habermas Is Dead
Jürgen Habermas, born June 19, 1929, in a wood-frame house near the Vorort of Düsseldorf, passed away last Tuesday at the age of 78.
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Our favorite ideal ideologues
1.Suzanne Westbrook 2.Jesus of Nazareth 3.Julian the Apostate 4.Robbie George 5.Stefan McDaniel 6.Martin Heidegger 7.Mammon, God of Wealth 8.Paul of Tarsus 9.Sara Viola 10.John Maynard Keynes 11.Hannah Arendt 12.Will ‘The Scharf’s Scharf’ Scharf 13.Karl Marx 14.Harold Graham Parker III / Harold Thornton Pratt IV / Jean-Paul Sartre (three-way tie) 15.Sherif Girgis 16.Plato 17.Werner Herzog 18.Pope…
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Shaking My Hips Dolefully
Beirut played at Terrace this Sunday. You might have heard him. You might even have been there, drinking, doing your thing. The place was crowded.
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A Yacht Club Party is Winding Down
The last few bars of a big-band tune exposing themselves without a hint of self-awareness and the half-sober apercus of a gaggle of twenty or so be-sequined, be-suited women and men of a certain age their laughter playing soft on the southwest wind that is wrinkling the bay— everyone saying at once ‘I’ve drunk too…