Primordial Soup

September 5, 2025

Current Affairs

Ⅰ. LIFE IS ART    This piece was supposed to be called: Reading Kundera in Prague. That is because I started this summer with a plan: to read all of Kundera, in order, in Prague. In an homage to the … Read More

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Primordial Soup: Full Design

Check out the full design of our newest issue below!

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Letter from the Editors

Dear reader, Wakey wakey, time for school. Memories of the summer sun interrupt daily life like nostalgia for the warmth of the womb. But hey. If you’re just finding the Nass, wakey wakey x 2. This mostly week- ly alternative … Read More

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Alyosha

The summer’s heat was known to bring solids to liquids, ice to water, clots to running blood. On that day in August 1904, the Tsarina felt a turning in her stomach. She gripped her womb, and called to her husband … Read More

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A Lunch Date

A green restaurant, any time, really. Cigarettes on the ground outside, Sticky floors and fuzzy black mats. Customers scattered like seeds, Two clumped at the bar.    Squeaking seats, a shared Shirley Temple. Salads and sandwiches drifting from Table to … Read More

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The Truth Well Expressed

You must believe you have sinned. You don’t go to heaven because you’re good. You go to heaven for a man named Jesus. Ask Jesus to forgive you and he will clean your heart.    These fervid phrases coming from … Read More

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STAY IN YO LANE, they tell you— the Defense Against Change mission

Forests are burning, the air is filthying, and Miley Cyrus has gone slutty. The world is changing, things are out of control. As a people, we stand at the ready: Conservation, Preservation – these are our civil duties. To support … Read More

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Ben’s Eschatology

He’s compact, twenty-five, staring at a line of mathematical notation on a whiteboard. He’s in a mostly undecorated, windowless office alone. He rakes his fingers through his hair and rubs the back of his neck. The air is humid and … Read More

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Empty Bottles

Sasha awoke too soon for his liking. He felt as if he’d seen the sun rise but an hour ago, when really the waning effects of wine had enabled him to soundly sleep away the past few. It was near … Read More

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Verbatim

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Overheard in a Berlin Hostel.

Traveler: “What would you recommend I do here”

Receptionist: “Go clubbing, make new friends, and please try to avoid saying ‘I’m just here for the history.’”

Overheard in a Small World

Friend 1: “I just want to be famous.”

Friend 2: “Don’t you want to learn something useful?”

Friend 1: “I can figure that out later.”

Overheard in Rocky dorm.

First-year who has left out some critical context: “I have never made a pillow so wet before.”

Overheard in Scottsdale, AZ.

Man 1: “I’ve been at work all day.”

Man 2: “That’s why you’re a multi-multi-hundred-thousandaire.”

Overheard in Yeh.

First-year: “Can we just Netflix and chill tonight? And I don’t mean sex. I am tired.”

Overheard in the former Yugoslavia.

Daughter: “When should we visit Uncle Jack?”

Mother: “He’s dying, so he’s probably free.”

Overheard in Venice.

54-year-old Father, walking around aimlessly: “Fantastico. Fantastico. Fantastico.”

Overheard in the office.

Colleague on FaceTime with their child: “You are just so cute and smiling today!”

Me with my back turned from said colleague: “Oh, why, thanks! I try. :)”

Overheard in an Uber XL.

Girl in the way-back: “I just had this vision that our Uber driver is going to die.”

Overheard in a Northeast Summer Camp Bunk.

Camper: “Why are you putting socks on before bed?”

Counselor: “My own feet disgust me.”

Overheard in New York City.

Investment Banking Intern, after spending forty-five hours per week at the office and changing nothing about the world, with $60,000 in their bank account: “I’ll Venmo request you.”

Overheard in London.

American consumer: “I love buying crap I don’t need.”