Very Old Man 1: You better go get your stuff, we're being displaced.
VOM 2: I feel like a Palestinian.
Guy: I love Renaissance poetry- Donne, Byron, Keats, Yeats. I like 'em all. I write my own poetry too sometimes but it's more modern.
Target Checker: That will be $12.63.
Nass Editor-in-Chief: Um, I think you'll notice on the sticker that the lampshade is actually priced at $0.00.
Target Checker: That was a mistake. You are not getting this lampshade for free.
Nass EIC: I'm a Jew.
Target Checker: Do you want to buy the lampshade?
Nass EIC: No.
Girl: My vagina just fainted.
Girl: Why do people become pediatricians?
Joyce Carol Oates: Is it because they're pedophiles?
Publisher 1: Looks like Joyce needs to get a little bit thinner!
Publisher 2: Are there any snack foods I haven't eaten yet?