Woke Bridge Year Senior: This shirt is kinda appropriative but I'm out of clean laundry.
NES major: yo, fuck the middle east tho…
Premed, on chem professor: He's like, actively decomposing.
Emphatic Brooklynite: You just can't be Republican on the subway.
Nass EIC: Is there a wholesome phrase with “ass” in it?
Freshman girl, accusatorially: Do *you* like Maria Garlock's aura?
Junior: I just wanted to take chocolate sauce and sprinkles and fuck up her whole life.
History major with JP draft due in several hours: I just thought of something to do to procrastinate, but then I forgot it.
Gay male: I'm only friends with girls on birth control.
Terrace shaman talking about minimalism: It’s all about getting rid of things that aren’t actually necessary in your life.
Other Terrace shaman: What about a pasta maker?
Terrace shaman #1: No -- that’s necessary.
Freshman washed-up girl: Yeah, I mean, I know he does Liars' club, but he's a good guy!
Freshman girl: What would the girl version of your name be? Daniela?
Boyfriend: Uhh I don’t know, that’s kinda slutty.
Terrace senior, talking about modern concubines: Indentured servitude is coming back into style.
Basic B: I'm dropping A's.
5 year old WASP: Being scammed is a preference.