Tankie Terrace Bros:
"I get nihilistic when I'm sleepy"
"Really, dude, I get totalitarian”
Girl looking at the time on two iPhones: Wow, they both say 9:30.
Tired bickerer: The amount of times I heard the word “vibes” at Cap bicker is way too high
“I’ve never met a coke-head who weighs over 130 pounds.”
“Clearly you’ve never been to Cannon.”
Leftist Mathey RCA, eating French toast: Everyone needs to be triggered sometimes.
Frosh: I'm not a trust fund kid! I'm a hedge fund kid! There's a difference!
One jewish female to another: you do look jewish, but you pull it off
Laurie, to Jo: Can we still be friends?
Emotionally ruined Princeton student: Bitch, as if!
Joshua Judd Porter: I’m world weary. I’m Leonard Cohen.
Boyfriend, to girlfriend: What if we had a foursome and ended up just having gay sex side by side?
Aspiring sex addict: "It would be hard to be an ugly sex addict. Do you think I'm attractive enough to be a sex addict?
Italian Professor: Let me tell you a secret: when i was a young professor here in the 1970s I used to have a huggeeee slice of cheesecake at 2am